Reclaiming Yourself in Motherhood

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women holding wine glasses. reclaiming self. des moines momBefore becoming a mom, I enjoyed long gym workouts, craft projects, reading novels, walking around Target, and volunteering. Wow has time changed those priorities! I have begun a journey of reclaiming who I am outside of “mom.” It has taken time, energy, and tears to begin to find me again. 

My Journey

I became a stepmom when my wedding vows were said, gaining a four and an eight year old just as I was starting married life. Less than a year later, I had my son and soon after my daughter. In other words, in a few short years I became a sleep-deprived, caffeine-consuming mom. 

Often I felt I was losing myself and identity in the early years of motherhood. My role as mom seemed to engulf my entire being from the moment my eyes opened to the last moment as they closed. Breakfast, potty, clothes, playing, snacks and the day just continued the same. 

I had no down time. My attention was focused on my children ALL the time. Creating time for myself is a necessity. For both my mental health and my sanity. 

Finding My People 

Finding my tribe has been the most important aspect of motherhood for me. These are friends I can turn to when I need a moment. When life seems to be crashing around me. I send a quick text or just a meme. We surround each other with support and love.

We take each other’s kiddos so we can attend a class or get a workout in. Adding in a monthly night out when the new year started has been amazing. Setting aside time to focus on what makes us happy and have an adult conversation without a hundred interruptions. Moms are simple people, really.

Moving My Body

I enjoy alone time. Exercising has always been a stress relief and a time to recharge. This is difficult with two preschoolers and an 11 and 15 year old. My younger two constantly want to be close to me. I get “touched out” by the end of my day and need those quiet moments to recharge. Exercising gives me time to zone out and focus on my workout instead of things causing stress. 

I have tried to set out time in my day for even a walk around the block. I strap my two younger ones in my jogging stroller and we just cruise around while I play a podcast and they eat a snack. Again, it’s a simple way to recapture who I am at the core. 

Finding a Passion

What is something you do that brings you joy? For me it was giving myself space to write and be open about motherhood. Reclaiming authenticity of the struggles and victories. Motherhood changes who you are in a positive way. It removes selfishness and replaces it with selflessness. You can no longer put your needs first when you have kids. 

Many times I am jealous of how easy it is for men to keep their hobbies and passions. How do they find the time to keep them? I’ll give you a hint. They put focus and effort into them. Moms seem to see the bigger picture at times. And we need to step up and say what we need in that moment. 

Reclaiming your passions is important. Instead of weekly golf outings for your spouse, you can take turns so you have time to focus on something that brings you joy.

Moms are selfless to a fault. I encourage you to focus on one thing, big or small, that can help reclaim a piece of you. 

Finding a job I have a passion for has opened doors to happiness. Consigning has helped to give a purpose to the time and energy I spend. I take time away to work at a sale twice a year, and I am able to give more of myself to my family. Recharging is necessary when staying home full time with young kiddos. The level of stress and exhaustion is tough on certain days. Having an outlet or release is necessary. 

Reclaiming who you are is important as the years pass in motherhood. Find your tribe of other moms, identify your passions, and do things that fill you up. Let me know what you are reclaiming in your motherhood journey, you deserve it! 

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Elizabeth’s crazy clan includes Elizabeth Rain (2007), Sophia (2011), Will (2017) and Evie Grace (2019) and husband, Mike. You will read posts ranging from co-parenting, being a stepmom and mom simultaneously to mental health in moms. Please reach out to Elizabeth with any questions or stories of your own as she loves to engage with other moms. By sharing stories and listening to other moms’ happys, crappys, and sappys we better ourselves. Growth comes from having a group of moms that challenge you and empower you to be a better version of yourself each day.

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