Is it normal to still not know “what I want to be when I grow up?”
Will I always feel like I’m “just a mom?”
Here’s how I’ve been feeling lately and what I’ve been trying to remind myself of during these hard times.
I am a stay-at-home mama of two kids (4 and 18 months) and married to an entrepreneur husband.
If you know anything about the entrepreneur life, you know there is absolutely zero consistency or “normalcy.” There is a weight of loneliness that comes with being a stay-at-home mother, but when you throw in a husband who is constantly working and continuously “on the clock” and the loneliness can become unbearable. Now, to throw out a disclaimer, I will always reiterate that I know how blessed I am. I know I have chosen to stay at home with my children and I know it is a privilege to be able to have that choice. That being said, sometimes I wonder if I’m making the right decision.
I have a four year college degree. It’s never been “put to use.” Once again, a path I chose, but sometimes question. What will happen someday when I’m ready to venture back out into the working world after being at home raising kids? It’s a constant thought in the back of my head. Will my kids admire me someday? Or wonder why I wasn’t doing something awesome like starting my own business like their Dad?
Do I blame all these negative thoughts on the dumpster fire that is 2020, or is this considered a mid-life crisis?
Here’s what I do know, and what I try to remind myself when these thoughts pop up.
I’m raising the future
No one is “just a mom.” I’m literally helping shape and mold kind and compassionate human beings.
The other day while at the park with the kids, I noticed a little girl sitting on a bench crying. I watched in the background as my four-year-old daughter walked over to her, sat next to her and begin talking. The little girl stopped crying and they talked for a few minutes. Then they both ran off to play. When I asked my daughter what she said to the girl she said, “I told her not to be sad, and that everything was going to be okay. I told her she could come play with me.”
At that moment, I knew I was doing something right. The world needs so much kindness and compassion and I’m helping bring that forth. I am making an impact with them and therefore making an impact to the world.
They will admire you
Each year on the first day of school I’ve asked my daughter what she wants to be when she grows up. This year she shocked me. She said “a mommy.” I asked what made her choose that and her answer brought me to tears. She said, “so that I can help people.” In the moments I won’t think I’ll be enough for them someday, I’m reminded they are watching me and what I do every single day.
Stop downplaying your role
I had a heart-to-heart with one of my best friends recently who simply told me to stop downplaying the role I play as a mother and a wife of an entrepreneur. She explained that down the road if I find a specific passion, I can always change my route and plan, but to never disregard the amazing things I am doing right now in this moment. I needed that. Sometimes we need a reminder that we are important.
So here I am to remind you that if you are feeling any of these feelings that I have, please remember you are important. Your role is important and needed. You are not “just a mom.” You are so much more than that. Continue shaping and positively impacting those wonderful humans, mamas. You are not alone.