I’m a Mom to Girls But Not a #girlmom

We live in a world of #hashtags that infiltrate every aspect of our lives, including parenting. And while I think most are fun and harmless, there are a few I just can’t get behind.

This may be an unpopular opinion, but I am not of a fan of the #boymom, #girlmom, or #girldad movement. Please don’t get defensive if this is something you do identify with, good for you! I am completely anti-mom-judgment.

Beyond Stereotypes

Let me start by saying our family isn’t gender-neutral. My daughter prefers dresses to pants (especially if they involve a tutu) and we don’t insist on neutral toys although you will find a solid mix of tractors with the baby dolls but I think that’s just my husband reliving his childhood. Anyway, let me explain my thoughts about the #boymom #girldad culture, it may not be what you think.

When you become a mom, you get into this super cool mom club. Some may call it a tribe. Either way, it is a priceless community of people who are there to support you and cheer you on. It’s great.

Sometimes it can feel like the world and society are against you as a mom, the choices you make or don’t. But when you have a mom tribe to back you up it makes motherhood so much more enjoyable. I feel like the #girlmom culture creates division in our mom world and we just don’t need that.

Yes, it’s true there may be certain aspects of parenting that are gender-specific, potty training maybe? But mostly raising decent tiny humans is pretty gender-neutral. There are other aspects of mothering that seem to occasionally divide people, breastfeeding versus formula, Montessori versus conventional childcare. I don’t think the gender of our children should divide us.

Another reason these #hastags aren’t my thing: I feel like it creates some kind of expectation based on or in opposition of gender norms. I think we can all agree that the world already promotes enough unachievable expectations especially for parents. I don’t need it anymore.

And lastly, you may have guessed this one; I don’t want to promote the idea that there are certain activities or behaviors that are gender-specific. Right now my daughter loves to dance and sing but maybe one day she will want to try something else. I don’t want her to feel limited by stereotypes.

Just a mom

I love my girls because they are mine. I love being a mom because I’m their mom. My love for them is solely based on their existence and my identity as their mom has absolutely nothing to do with their gender.