Hold the test pointing down, place the absorbent strip in a stream of urine for 5 seconds, recap the test, and wait for the longest three minutes OF. YOUR. LIFE.

Pacing the bathroom, clearly ignoring the portion that states “don’t look at the results for 3 minutes,” you obsessively check the lines and await your fate. Will you be sad if there’s one line? Relieved? Are you ready to be a mom? Do you want a child? 3 minutes and one pee-soaked stick is all it takes to change your entire life FOR-EV-ER.

I am officially wrecked from these children.

My hips will never again fit into a size 4. My chest has forever changed. My belly will always have a little bit of pudge and a whole lot of stretch marks. My scar from my belly button piercing is stretched and unrecognizable. The bags under my eyes are permanent. My hands are cracked and dry from all the washing. My immune system is continually tested. I have white hairs. I am addicted to caffeine. My body is ruined.

You, my child, are worth it all. You are worth being wrecked for.

If this is the price of motherhood, then please, sweet children, ruin me. Again and again. Forever.

One thing that has TRULY surprised me in my adult life is how many people (particularly moms) are aching for friendship. I grew up right here in Des Moines and still found myself feeling “friendless” when we moved back from Minnesota. I remember calling our parents (who are awesome) to hang out on the weekends! But we were still eager to find a group of friends! Fast forward eight years and I think I have learned a thing or two about making friends as a mom.

CALM DOWN. Seriously, calm down. You are on the fast track to nutso-Kara, and no one wants that.

Right … so first-time mom Kara is not a fun person. In ideal, pre-baby conditions, you are a FUN person. You are gracious, talk in complete sentences, can make jokes, and can listen with a compassionate ear. But first-time mom Kara is more than a little neurotic and a teensy bit batty (and by teensy bit, I mean a lot. Crying on a walk because your husband kicked you out of the house to get fresh air is a bad sign.) Being new to motherhood and extremely sleep-deprived, well, those things did not bring out the best version of yourself.

First-time mom Kara, people aren’t going to do things exactly the same as you would, and the world will not end (this is actually a life-truth, not just a mom-truth). For example, your dear, dear friends who agreed to babysit your child will be able to put your baby to bed without the step-by-step swaddling tutorial and the teddy bear you left swaddled as an example. Dial down the crazy, dear.

From One #desmoinesmom to Another

Forget the parenting books, which overwhelm you with information that doesn't pertain to your situation. Find a couple of moms you admire, and ask them for advice when you're struggling to figure out anything from sleep schedules to illnesses to what's for dinner. Their tried and true advice will give you solutions you won't find in any book.

There’s a lot to think about when it comes to having a new baby. Lots of expectant parents spend so much of their time and energy preparing for labor and birth and getting the nursery ready that they forget to plan for what life will be like once their baby is home.

Lots of people make a birth plan, but it’s just as important to make a postpartum plan. Taking a little bit of time to think about how you will get the rest, nourishment, and support you need after having a baby can make a big difference.

Here are five questions to ask yourselves in the final weeks of pregnancy so you can feel more rested, nourished, and able to enjoy the first weeks at home with your baby.

I think it’s pretty common knowledge now that there are just some things you don’t say to a pregnant woman. Of course, you have those outliers of people who say them anyway, but certain comments that allude to a woman’s changing body such as “Wow, you’re so big/small!” “Aren’t you too young/old to have a baby?” and “Are you sure it’s not twins?” are a big no, no.

This time around there is a new one I want to add to the list of things you shouldn’t say to a pregnant woman. This comment has come to the scene thanks to the recent global pandemic; can you guess what it is? Maybe you have heard it yourself: “So you’re having a COVID baby?!” With other versions such as “pandemic pregnancy” and jokes like “I guess you didn’t social distance.”

When my husband and I first talked about adopting in 2014, the financial obligation made us stop in our tracks.

We literally shelved the idea for another 4 years before reconvening and saying yes. With the average international adoption costing between 35,000 and 50,000 dollars and domestic adoptions in a similar price range, how does an average person successfully overcome the financial obstacle and adopt?

Every adoptive family before us said the same thing – don’t let finances be the obstacle that prevents you from adopting. Where there is a will, there’s a way. Children need families so let’s break down some ways we employed and you can too to prepare financially to adopt.