Becoming a Mom

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Hold the test pointing down, place the absorbent strip in a stream of urine for 5 seconds, recap the test, and wait for the longest three minutes OF. YOUR. LIFE.

Pacing the bathroom, clearly ignoring the portion that states “don’t look at the results for 3 minutes,” you obsessively check the lines and await your fate. Will you be sad if there’s one line? Relieved? Are you ready to be a mom? Do you want a child? 3 minutes and one pee-soaked stick is all it takes to change your entire life FOR-EV-ER.

The initial terror sets in as you begin to navigate your emotions. Fear, doubt, anxiety, all eventually giving way to excitement and acceptance. You schedule the appointment and see the little blip on the radar and you’re like “Holy Moly! That tiny little poltergeist is going to turn into a full-fledged human.” A full-fledged human you are solely responsible for keeping alive. No pressure.

The months seemingly drag by, but with each passing day, you are falling more and more in love with this person you haven’t even met yet. You think about what they will look like, what their personality will be like. You wonder if they will have your brown eyes or the hazel eyes that made you fall in love with their dad? Will they love to dance, eat ketchup on everything, be overly competitive at board games, be a Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, or Slytherin? Will they have a passion for the arts, or be an athlete? You can’t help but wonder who this person will be… and then you meet them.

Becoming a Mom

Everything you thought you knew about life and love is changed in an instant. The moment the baby is placed on your chest it’s like a weight is lifted. Anything that didn’t make sense before suddenly makes sense now. You stare at the impossibly tiny features of a newborn baby. Spend countless hours kissing the tiniest fingers and the cutest little nose.

You spend sleepless nights swaying in the dark, exhausted days singing the same song over and over because it’s the only thing that makes them happy. The best days cuddling and laughing. The trying days as you get used to this new life together. Even on the days it feels like you are failing, you are growing and learning.

Then, before you know it, you’re using your last diaper, catching a teetering toddler as they learn to stand, resisting the urge to hold them up when they’re taking their first steps, crying in the hallway for a solid 2 weeks as they’re starting school, holding their hand through all the bad, and reaching for the same hand through all the good.

3 minutes. 3 minutes and suddenly you’re a counselor, an advocate, a safe space, a warm embrace. You are an owie kisser, a monster exterminator, a cheerleader, a solid foundation. 3 minutes of uncertainty and then it hits you: You are strong, you are resilient, you are a MOM.

What was the moment you knew you were a mom? 

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Kinzy is a self-proclaimed “cool mom” to 3 spirited kids: Kellan (2012), Harper (2014), and Charlotte (2019). Her husband James is a Des Moines Firefighter whose only real downfall is his wholehearted participation in “Movember.” When she’s not working diligently to answer the ten thousand questions her kids ask in a day, she can be found slamming coffee, adding things to her shopping carts online knowing full well she’ll never actually checkout, and laughing at her own jokes. She spends most of her days reminiscing about when naps were still a thing, avoiding household chores, and striving to perfect the work/life balance.

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