Every day I fight a war against the mirror
I can’t take the person starin’ back at me
“Don’t Let Me Get Me” by Pink
Is that how you feel when you look in the mirror? Does your mind automatically go over all your imperfections? The hair that is too curly or the face that has a new pimple. The grey hairs that seem to be popping up all over or the the teeth that are not perfectly straight. Do your eyes automatically search out the stretch marks and the softness of your tummy? Do you hate the way your thighs touch when you stand and how you have love handles that seem to spill out over your jeans? Do you look at yourself in disgust every time you see your reflection in the mirror, always finding something that is wrong and never seeing what is right?
I spend way too much of my time thinking about the things listed above. Thinking that if only I could finally (2 years later) loose the last of this baby weight or fit into the size of jeans I wore before I had kids that I would be happier with my reflection in the mirror… happier with me.
I’m tired of being my worst enemy. I’m tired of hating what I see when I look in the mirror. I’m tired of not being good enough for me. I’m not going to be complacent with my body – I still want to work to become healthier for myself and for my kids. But instead of hating myself through the process, I’m going to love myself. I’m going to accept that this is the body I have right now and love it for what it has done (birthed 2 babies topping that list) and embrace the curves that adorn my figure right now. I’m going to continue cleaning up my eating and stepping up my working out, not because I want to be skinny, but because I am worth making healthy choices for.
I have finally come to the conclusion that my self-worth is defined by so much more than what I see in the mirror. I think I’m a really good mom and a great wife. I am a trustworthy and loyal friend. I am a dependable and hard-working employee. I am a kind person with a good sense of humor. I am all of those things and so much more, but I never look in the mirror and think, “Katie, you have done an awesome job entertaining and playing with the kids today.” Instead I think, “I wonder how many pounds I need to lose before I can fit into my pre-kid jeans!”
I invite you to join me in learning to love the reflections we see in the mirror. In knowing that we are so much more than a number on the scale. In discovering that our self-worth lies outside the size of our jeans and the imperfections that we see. Will you join me?
You held me down, but I got up
Get ready ’cause I’ve had enough
I see it all, I see it now
“Roar” by Katy Perry