As I am quickly approaching my 30th birthday (and trying not to freak out about it!), I have been doing a little self-reflection. Do you know this feeling – trying to figure out who you are and who you want to be?
I do not have it all together, but I can tell you that I have one thing figured out for sure. I can NOT do life on my own. I need help. I need a support group that carries me through the tough times and dances with me during the beautiful times.
Thankfully, I have a wonderful group of friends whom I think of as my family. These ladies are AMAZING, and even though they are my friends, I found that I was consistently sizing myself up against them, envious of their qualities. This was not good for me. It wasn’t about them – it was about me being critical of what I was seeing as my faults or shortcomings. I was comparing myself to them and getting that evil, negative self-talk going.
Do you ladies have that little voice? The one that tells you SHOULD have it more together, or that you SHOULD be more patient, or that you SHOULD be thinner, healthier, etc., etc., etc? UGH! I hate that voice. That voice makes me feel self-conscious and like a bad mom. Two things that I do not want to be.
I decided that I didn’t want to feel that way anymore. So I asked myself, “What are you going to do about it?” and “BE GRATEFUL” was my answer. I decided to become even MORE grateful for these beautiful friends who have been placed in my life. I started thinking of them as treasures that surrounded me, treasures that filled me up. So instead of thinking negative thoughts about myself, I decided to embrace those things that I loved about them and apply them in my own life.
Here are a few of my treasures….Abby and I have been friends since 3rd grade. She was organized then and she is even more so now. I can be organized, sometimes, but not organized like Abby. I get stressed when I feel like everything is a mess, so I started thinking, “How would Abby handle this?” And oh my goodness, I can get some things done when I think this way! Kelcee is calm. Oh my, I just wish I could bottle this up and take it with me. She thinks before she reacts, and I love that about her. Instead of being hard on myself that I am quick to react or to speak – I think of her, take a deep breath, and assess the situation. She is also an incredible listener. A really good combination of skills I need! Mary is resilient. Both of her sweet boys have food allergies, and this was a new experience to me. I was blown away by her patience with this challenge. She has taught me to embrace hard things and to face them with a positive attitude. Shelby is real – no sugar coating. I absolutely love this about her. We get to do real life parenting together. The good, the bad, and the ugly. We can shoot a message one to the other saying what a crazy day it’s been and know that there will be no judgment from the other side. Stephanie, my sweet friend, has an amazing faith in God and leans on Him with all her heart. I am not very good at this. So instead of feeling bad that I don’t pray enough, I started praying more. I get my tea cup that she gifted me and think of her when I need that extra motivation to pray. Tonya is a momma of four and has an amazing ability to let her kids play. She doesn’t interfere too soon and lets them work things out on their own. As a recovering helicopter mom, this is something I channel often during the day!
These are just a few of my treasures. I am grateful to have others in my life and to continue meeting treasures along my journey. I can tell you that my life has greatly improved by changing my attitude and not being so critical of myself. I have also learned that I have treasures to give. My treasure is the gift of writing notes. I love putting joy in someone’s mailbox, brightening their day. Before postage went up in Janurary, I bought 100 stamps. My goal is to use them all before the end of the year! Most of all, this soul-searching experience has given me confidence. Confidence that I am a good friend and a good momma. SELF-LOVE = CONFIDENCE!