I am a teacher.
I am a parent.
I know the relationship between parents and teachers is one of the most important for your child’s success in school.
Especially if school is not one of your child’s favorite things.
All kids are different. Some will come home excited to tell you about every little detail of their day, while others withdraw after school and it’s like prying teeth to get them to tell you even one small thing that they did.
And sometimes a child can make the parent-teacher relationship awkward.
All teachers are different. Some will send home 50 emails a week and papers upon papers home in the backpack, while others will only communicate when absolutely necessary.
And sometimes a teacher can make the parent-child relationship awkward.
All parents are different. Some will send detailed excuses for absences with updates every hour, some you will never be able to get a hold of no matter how hard a teacher tries.
If you are a parent, that is the last thing you want for your child.
What can you do to facilitate a good parent-teacher relationship:
Communicate early
Don’t make parent-teacher conferences the first time you communicate with your child’s teacher. If your child’s teacher sends out some beginning of the year forms for you to fill out, be sure you do so thoroughly and promptly. If they don’t send anything home, send them something that tells the teacher a bit about you, your family, and any ideas you have for how to be a partner with them this year.
Come to parent-teacher conferences
Usually, there is a lot to talk about during parent-teacher conferences. It’s a great way to touch base on what has been happening in the classroom. Be sure to have a few things that you notice and want to talk about. Having these set-aside times to talk about academic, social, and or work habit topics is a great thing.
Communicate often
Think about the parent-teacher relationship as a vital relationship for your child’s success in school. You want to be a strong partnership with easy communication so if problems do come up, they can get resolved quickly, because that relationship is already established.
Respect boundaries
Teachers have families and lives outside of school. Many times those boundaries get blurred and pushed back, but it’s not reasonable to expect a teacher to respond to an email after school hours. Many times teachers will do this, but if this doesn’t happen, no offense should be taken.
Don’t make excuses for your child
We all love our children, but we aren’t going to be doing them any favors by defending behaviors their teacher might have concerns about. Instead of making excuses for your child, work with your child and their teacher to get to the root of the behavior that is troubling. Only then you can figure out the why and how to find a solution.
Assume good intent
The overwhelming majority of all teachers I have worked with and met over the years are well-suited for the job. Are we perfect? Absolutely not. If problems do arise, try to assume the teacher was well-intentioned. It’s a tough job and in my experience teachers do the best they can with what they have. But we do have bad days, and we do make missteps. If you have a concern, please remember to approach it in a way that gives the teacher the benefit of the doubt. And please DO address it. Teachers want to know if something isn’t sitting right with you or your child.
It’s a relationship
Whether it be parent to teacher, teacher to parent, student to teacher, or student to parent, the key to remember is that these are all important relationships. They are relationships to nurture. If any one of these relationships breaks down, that’s when we may see some struggling happening inside the classroom. Generally, these struggles are pretty easy to fix if everyone involved is open and solutions-based in the approach. So get out there and don’t be afraid to get to know your child’s teacher!
