I Married an Introvert


DMMBweddingdayIf you know me, you probably know that I am not an introvert. I like big groups of friends. I like having people. I like being able to talk to anyone at anytime. I don’t get (too) nervous when I enter a social situation by myself (Read: Joined the DMMB team without knowing a soul). I seek out friends and I make time to be with those friends. I enjoy the company of others, and I enjoy it often. I believe this trait came from my dad. He could make a friend out of a squirrel if he had the time. (Love you, Dad!) Our home was always open to visitors growing up, and I loved that!

My husband, however, is not a fan of big groups of people that he doesn’t know. He has a couple close friends and struggles to reach outside of that. He is great with people, don’t get me wrong. Hubby can talk about any topic comfortably, he knows what’s appropriate for each setting, he can appear to be an extrovert. But, on the inside, he’s all anxious and uncomfortable. He just prefers to be in the company of his family, at home.

For years, I have forced him to join me in social settings that I prefer, not realizing what I was doing to him. I just assumed that I needed him beside me. Marriage is a wonderful, crazy journey in which you never stop learning. I am still learning to let him be an introvert. That his social calendar fills up with two commitments, where as mine would take a lot more. I think he would agree that I have helped him be more open and willing to try new situations, while he has taught me to be a little more guarded. Not too eager. To keep my heart inside, instead of on my sleeve. To just let it be instead of smothering it with words. And also, how important time to myself really is.

extrovertI can already see the introvert/extrovert tendencies in my kiddos. My oldest needs her alone time, she loves being
around just one or two good friends, but she does well in a group setting, too. My middle shows NO signs of being an introvert! She is a people-person to her core, and I hope to teach her what her daddy has taught me: that not everyone has to like you for you to be loved, that you can do hard things, and to not let the little things bother you.

Being married to an introvert presents its challenges to this extrovert! As much as there are challenges, there are, of course, blessings. One being that I am, and hopefully will always be, his preferred company.

Did you marry an introvert? Are YOU an introvert? How has this affected your marriage and/or parenting?


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