Your Circus, Your Monkeys

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This post is part 4 of 5 in the series To Train Up a Child.

Did you ever dream of becoming an animal trainer when you were a little kid? Dream of traveling with the circus with your well-trained monkeys and visiting new places, hearing new “ahhs” and “oohs”? Well, congratulations! You’re a parent now! This is your circus, and these are your monkeys.

Maybe you’re still in the basic training stage… like teaching them to share, to touch the baby gently, to “hold still while I change your diaper… and don’t fling your poo.” Perhaps you’re in the advanced training stages like teaching them how to be good stewards of their money, how to cook and serve dinner to everyone, basic hygiene, or doing their own laundry. The performance that you are training them for is life, adulthood. And the “tricks” they learn now will help them make it or break it in the real world. It will cause people to be attracted to, or repelled by, them.

No pressure, right?

Your Circus, Your Monkeys: Train Them Well

In order to properly train your monkeys, you need to get to know them. Get to know their character, what entices them, what appeals to them. Figure out how to reward and how to teach them “no.” One monkey is logical, thinks through things. He is strong-willed and loves his free time. Another monkey appreciates praise more than anything. It’s important to not use harsh words as punishment, to speak sweet words to motivate this one. The other monkey acts tough but is actually quite tender. She likes to hang on you often. This one may be the trickiest as she requires more of your personal attention. Each monkey will be trained differently. First, you should train yourself on how to relate to and motivate each one.

Sometimes, you will think you have mastered a skill level and your monkey will prove otherwise. For example, I thought I had trained my smallest monkey to not run away at the store. To stay by me. Then, one day, I found (or stalked) fellow contributor Mel at Target and made the mistake of assuming my little monkey would stay by my side while I chatted with her. Before I knew it, he darted through the aisles. I had to take off sprinting and retrain him in that moment.

Your Circus, Your Monkeys: Train Them WellI truly thought I could do anything after potty training two monkeys… but here I am dreading training the third.

I was sleeping through the night with my monkeys snoozing in their beds, but I typed out half this post on my phone while laying on the floor by one monkey’s bed.

I have trained my monkeys to take their dirty dishes to the sink after a meal. While they do forget once in awhile, I patiently retrain them.

The point is, no one has all the answers for training. You can try this or that, but in the end it comes down to your monkey, your season of life, and your level of consistency. If you commit to training them, day in and day out, and be consistent with your expectations, you will have success. I am not a professional trainer by any means. But, somehow, my monkeys are well-behaved (for others), compassionate (for others), well-mannered (for others) little beings.

Whatever level of training you are trying to master, hang in there, mama! Someday you will be asked, “How did you train them so well?” and you won’t have a clue how to respond!

DMMBmonkeys3

Read more from our To Train Up a Child series!

To Train Up a Child: A DMMB Series on Motherhood's Toughest Topics

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