When Our Babies Grow Up: Embracing the Challenges and Changes

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When Our Babies Grow Up: Embracing the Challenges and ChangesI see the lines of my little girl’s face in the soft glow of the night light: the round curves of her cheeks, the soft point of her chin, and the upturn of her tiny nose. Her breath exhales slowly through her open mouth, and her fingers curl in, her body trembling softly as she falls into a deep sleep.

I memorize this moment as I gently run my fingers through her hair, down her neck, and over her back.

It’s been a long night of getting her to fall asleep. My heart feels both full and heavy as I exhale, feeling a sense of relief and gratitude in the moment.

I know these days are fleeting, as frustrating as they may be. When all I want is for her to calm down, all she wants is my presence.

“Mommy, lay down, too!” have been her words to me for the past couple weeks. And instead of the usual routine of the summer – fighting bedtime for a couple hours most nights, alternating between mommy and daddy trying to calm her down – the idea of lying down next to her crib seems a lot easier.

Being a mom takes it out of you, but I remind myself to be present in each moment as much as I can. I’m not perfect by any means, and I need my breaks and have my breaking points. But I also know that with each phase in my child’s life there are the challenges and the beautiful moments, like watching her fall asleep. I embrace these memories, knowing that someday I will look back at them fondly.

I don’t want to look back with sadness or regret, wishing for these days again or wondering if I should have done something differently. I want to look back knowing that I was as a good a mom as I could be, remembering how much I love my baby girl and how much she loves and needs me.

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As I experience and think about these moments I share with my toddler, I hear the voices of well-seasoned moms saying things like, “Enjoy it while it lasts,” or, “They grow up too fast.” While they seem to be well meaning, these words dig at my heartstrings and make me feel like I should be feeling something I don’t.

And while I wholeheartedly agree that I should enjoy my time with my daughter and that the time flies by quickly, I don’t dread her growing up. The implied attitude in these comments is one of sadness and remorse, mixed with a small dose of nostalgia.

This makes me wonder: should I be feeling sad that my baby girl is growing up? Should I feel guilty for not feeling sad? Because while I do feel some nostalgia for the days when she snuggled and slept in my arms for hours, I am loving this stage of toddler life and parenthood. (Minus the tantrums and fighting bedtime.)

When Our Babies Grow Up: Embracing the Challenges and Changes

Seeing my little girl grow up before my very eyes, watching her learn and discover things on her own, embracing her love for life and those around her… these are the moments I cherish as a mom. And I know I will continue to hold these types of moments close to my heart as she grows older. That is the pride that comes in being a momma.

I have come to realize that being a mom isn’t just about kissing boo-boos, tempering tantrums, snuggling away sickness,or spending rainy afternoons building forts and having dance parties. (Who doesn’t love dancing in the kitchen?)

Being a mom is about teaching our toddlers to become gentle, kind children who are secure in our love for them. It is about showing our children how to become selfless, generous young people who know that they have so much to offer. And showing our teenagers how to care for those around them and survive the drama that is high school, all while they are discovering themselves in this world as young adults and we as parents are trying to be a positive example to them. And we continue to be that example as we lead and walk alongside them into adulthood.

Being a mom is about embracing the challenges. Running into the storm instead of away from it. Because there will be curveballs, reasons to be frustrated, irritated, and, of course, exhausted.

With every age there are challenges. And with every age there are rewards. Maybe this is why I don’t fear the big K (aka kindergarten). While it will very likely be hard on me emotionally, it doesn’t feel like it will be the end of an era. I will have other things to look forward to experiencing with my daughter.

When Our Babies Grow Up: Embracing the Challenges and Changes

I hate to sound cliché, but it really is true that when one door closes, another one opens. Or when God closes a door, He opens a window.

Sometimes it takes a while to see, or you might have to look for it, but in every season of life you can find a reason to experience joy. (Note that I didn’t say there is a reason for the season. Sometimes there isn’t, but that’s okay.) It is not always easy to look for the positive, and when you’re in the trenches of stressful mommy life or experiencing something tragic, all you want to do is curl up and cry.

And that’s okay. Believe me. Let it out. But make sure to let it out to someone willing to listen, to offer compassion and maybe even a hug or prayer.

Mommy blogs have become so popular because they reassure us that we are not alone. We can relate to one another. We find relief knowing that our thoughts, fears, and experiences have been felt by moms just like us. Someone, somewhere is going through exactly what you are. You’re not in the trenches alone.

While you may want to curl up and cry, I encourage you to run into the storm. Armed with courage, faith, and a positive attitude, you can get through the challenges. This season will pass, and a new one will arrive.

I’ve always been one to appreciate the seasons (even though I hate the bitter cold Iowa winters), and I like – and sometimes crave – change. Both life and parenthood will have its seasons, and often times it will feel like the winters will never end. But eventually, the snow will melt and the challenges will subside, bringing new life and hope.

When Our Babies Grow Up: Embracing the Challenges and Changes

It is up to us as parents how we respond to the changes and the challenges. Our attitudes are being watched by little eyes, and they see our fear and our faith.

Whether it’s our children reaching milestones or growing up way too fast, change doesn’t have to be a big, scary question mark of the unknown or an opportunity to be sad and wish for the past. Live in and embrace the present. While you may miss the snuggles and boo-boo kissing, today you are needed just as much as you were then. You may not see it, and you may not feel it, but you will always be needed as momma, no matter how much your baby grows up.

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