Social media wasn’t something I had to navigate as a child. I got my first phone when I was a junior in high school and Facebook didn’t come out until I was in college. As parents, most of us are navigating uncharted territory right now with social media and our kids.
We have a ten-year-old son, and we are already having conversations about social media. We have decided it’s not time for him to have it yet for a few reasons that I wanted to share with you. If you’re a parent in limbo about this, maybe this will help you make the decision for your family.
Kids and Social Media
I am a middle school technology teacher, so I teach 11- and 12-year-old kids every day. I see some kids who struggle with impulsive behavior and poor decision making. This combined with the permanent nature of the Internet worries me. Anything people put online can be searched. It could be there forever.
We have heard too many stories of kids posting silly or inappropriate things as a child or teen and it coming back to bite them later. (Remember Carson King?) I want to delay my son’s use of social media for a little longer until his brain develops a bit more to guide him to make better choices. He doesn’t always have the best judgment, so it makes me worry about what he would post on a whim online.
Social media puts a lot of pressure on kids. I struggled with appearance enough as a preteen, and my son has hinted at concerns about his appearance as a fifth-grader.
Having social media can make some kids feel like they need to look a certain way. It’s easy to scroll deep into the comparison trap. I don’t want my son’s joy stolen this early because he gets more concerned about how he appears in photos that are posted online.
There are a lot of things (content and strangers) on social media I am not ready for him to have access to yet. We still have him use the YouTube Kids App to filter his intake of videos, but with a lot of social media, there is easy access to inappropriate content. Does he still have texting? Yes. Do I know he can get things that way? Yes. But, without social media, we are minimizing some of that access.
Online Privacy
Last, I’m not sure if you have heard of it, but there is something called the Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act (COPPA). This act was passed in 1998. COPPA restricts websites from tracking data on children under 13, which is why most apps do not want kids younger than 13 to join. So, if I am signing up my son for social media before he is 13, I have to lie about his age to sign him up. I know to some people this isn’t a big deal, but I would prefer not to.
I know some parents choose for their child to have a private account on different apps. This can be a great way to ease into social media. But I also tell my middle school students that even if their account is private, it is very easy for someone who follows them to screenshot or screen record what they posted in private and expose it to the public. I think it is important if you’re choosing to let your child have social media you remind them that a private account isn’t a free for all.
I would love to hear your perspective. If you have allowed your tween to use social media, what guided your decision? If you’re having your tween wait, do you have anything else to add?
