Spring is a season of sentimentality for me. With my firstborn’s and my own birthdays in March, and Mother’s Day, the twins’ birthday, and the closing of another school year in May, spring always gives me plenty of special occasions to reflect upon. And because my place as Mom is a major centerpiece of my life, all spring-things sentimental tend to draw me into reflection on the beauty of motherhood.
During my most recent episode of thoughtful gushiness and mushy Mom-feelings, I realized something: I wear my babies… not in Mobys or ERGOs; but in every figurative sense, my children are closely attached to my body… and they will be forever, no matter the age or stage of life they are in.
Four springs ago I was in my third trimester of twin pregnancy. As my doubly full abdomen continued to grow beyond what my skin had previously been asked to accommodate, I watched stretch marks begin to appear. I knew that these marks on my stomach would never go away, and yet I wasn’t upset or disappointed by the marring of my body. I knew instead that I would forever wear these scars with joy, remembering the beauty and blessing of being with child(ren)… and of the healthy longevity of a “high-risk” pregnancy.
Following that pregnancy, which was more high-risk (truly) than any of us knew, it became evident that we would likely be done growing our family. Knowing that “we” were probably complete, I started developing a desire for a piece of mother’s jewelry—something attractive which would symbolize the special people who make me Mom and provide for me a physical and visible way to wear the children who fill my heart.
This gift is one of the most meaningful I’ve ever received, not only because of whom it represents but also because of the thought that was put into each design choice. My Living Locket, as it’s called, contains charms to represent Travis’ and my anniversary month and each of our four children; and I intend to soon be adding one for the baby we lost to miscarriage.
My children are long escaped from the close confines of a baby carrier–and one is even further escaped, from the confines of this world–but they will always be my babies, and I will always wear them with the strong fibers of a mother’s love.