A Letter from My Unborn Son, with Down Syndrome

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When I was 11 weeks pregnant, I received a Down Syndrome diagnosis for my unborn son. My world came to a screeching halt. It felt like I was completely alone. After speaking with my genetic counselor, I dropped the phone on the floor and just rocked back and forth on the couch, crying until my tears ran dry.

son with down syndrome encouragementI will never forget that day. If only I had been given this letter from my amazing son.

Dear Mom,

I know that right now you are terrified. You didn’t expect the news you got today, and right now your world is completely upside down. I feel your pain and the heaves of your cries. I can taste the tears rolling down your face. But Mommy? It’s ok. It’s ok that you feel this way. It’s ok that you are questioning everything you ever thought you believed in. It’s ok that you don’t know how to feel about me.

Let me tell you about me. I have bright blue eyes. When you look at my face, the first thing you will see is all that is right and pure in the world streaming from my glistening eyes. My eyes will cry and they will squint tight when I’m mad. They will open wide when I see something amazing. But, Mommy, when they see you they will exude love.

Guess what? You are right when you think that there will be challenges. You will be challenged every day to see the world differently. You will be challenged to advocate for me. But you won’t be challenged to love me. You will experience the deepest most amazing love you have ever felt. You will be amazed at how your other babies, my big brothers and sister, will instinctively bond with me and care for me. And, you know what? Every time you look at me, you will notice how much I look like them!

Mommy, I love to hear you sing. When you sing to me (and you will!) I will look up at you in amazement and give you the sweetest, most content smile you’ve ever seen. You will be completely in love with me. But do you know what else? So will everyone who meets me! Every time someone sees me smile or holds me you will see them fall in love. You will hear them say how much they love me. And they will want to advocate for me too!

You will be in awe by the things I do. I will fold my hands together in front of me and everyone will say I’m praying. You’ll even make jokes (yes, you will think things are funny again!) that I’m praying to get out of physical therapy or that you’ll stop trying to feed me peaches (GROSS)!

By the time I’m 9 months old, you will really know me. You’ll love my deep belly laugh and know exactly how to trigger it. You’ll watch my daddy and my big brothers make work out videos with me. You’ll see how much I’m trying to grow up and play with my big sister. You’ll be surprised how happy I get when you put me in my carseat. You will proudly brag to doctors about how strong I am when I refuse to let them look in my mouth. I will love to rest my head against your cheek, especially when I am sleepy.

And Mommy, I am smart. I see everything around me, and I take it all in. I love it when my family teaches me new things. I love it when you give me the opportunity to be one of the big kids and do what they do. I love playing with them, eating with them, and singing and dancing with them. I love noisy rooms and bright lights. I LOVE using sign language to sign “more” and “dada,” just not when you have the camera on me!

Mommy, I am smart. Just you wait. You will be amazed.

I know you’re scared and angry and confused. I know you think the future you thought you were going to have is gone. But please believe me that your future will be more than you could have ever imagined.

Mommy. You will love me. And I will love you. We will look at each other and just stare. I will give you juicy kisses and the most amazing snuggles. I will love holding your hand and snuggling on your tummy. I’ll give you five and lace my fingers in yours.

We are going to be a great team.

Mommy, it’s going to be ok.

I love you,

Marek

World Down Syndrome Day March 21World Down Syndrome day is March 21. Get involved in your Down Syndrome community by contacting Gigi’s Playhouse.

For more information on Down Syndrome and to join an amazing and supportive community of families all around the world who have children with DS, contact the Down Syndrome Diagnosis Network.

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Sarah stopped through Des Moines while moving from NYC en route to Chicago. She quickly met the love of her life and, after a marriage proposal in a hot air balloon over the bridges of Madison County, ended up planting roots in Iowa! Now a mama to four amazing kiddos ages 9, 8, 6 and 1, she spends most of her time running to doctor appointments, choir rehearsals and swimming lessons. When not on official mom duty, Sarah can be found teaching English online, directing a youth show choir or teaching private music lessons. She strives to always make a difference while keeping a smile on her face and a mocha in her hand.

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