Treat Yourself as You’d Treat Others

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When my three boys were little, I’d often find myself saying, “Treat your brother how you want to be treated.” It made sense. My little dudes were often selfish and rude and out to get whatever they wanted at any cost. The Golden Rule was standard parenting fare back in the day.

Now, as they’ve gotten older and don’t need quite as much reminding, I’ve caught myself telling my… self… the exact opposite. “Self,” I say, “it’s time to treat yourself like you’d treat others.”

As I sit here writing this post, in my pajamas at 12:53 p.m. on a Wednesday afternoon, I’ve realized something big. I’m continually berating myself. I’ve had a pretty intense cold for several days and it has finally taken its toll. I’m in bed, eating leftover chicken noodle soup, not schooling my kids, not doing dishes or laundry or any of the other thousands of responsibilities I have piling up.

But am I fully resting and feeling safe with my choice? No. I’m criticizing myself in my head for 1) being in my pajamas at noon on a Wednesday, 2) needing the time and space to heal my body, 3) letting my kids eat leftovers for the third lunch in a row, 4) counting reading a few books on Abe Lincoln as “school” for the day and 5) just not feeling like myself.

Then, it occurs to me… would I ever do this to someone else? Would I cast judgment upon the momma who has been battling a voracious cold for days and just needs a few hours to rest? No. Would I tell a momma who is physically exhausted and ill that she should just suck it up and get her dishes/laundry/homeschool/fashion/cleaning on? No. I most definitely would not. Ever.

Love Yourself WellI would tell her to love herself enough to heal. I’d tell her to rest well for an afternoon to be rejuvenated for the remainder of the week. I’d tell her that her kids are going to be just fine eating leftovers and learning a few random facts about our 16th president — after all, Abe Lincoln wouldn’t lie!

So, why the harshness towards myself? Why am I treating myself any less than how I’d treat my momma bestie? Good questions. I shouldn’t, and I’m determined to stop.

So, today, because I feel like garbage and look even worse, I’m going to give myself permission and freedom to stay in bed. And eat leftover chicken noodle soup. And let the laundry pile up. And be okay if my kids only read books on Abe Lincoln for school today. And I’m going to tell you the same thing, sweet sister.

Take care of yourself.

Treat yourself like you’d treat others. Always.

Give yourself the same grace and mercy you’d give your bestie. Every day.

If you need time… take it.

If you need quiet… find it.

If you need rest… surrender to it.

Life will be there waiting with baited breath for your return. Be as gentle with yourself as you would be with your dearest friend.

Ladies, it has been a true honor sharing some of my thoughts and feelings with you over the past two years on Des Moines Moms Blog. This is my last official post as a regular contributor to the blog. I’ve felt as though it’s time for someone else to fill my shoes and pick up where I left off (with her own flair, of course)! Thanks for having me and welcoming me into your life. It’s been a pleasure.

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Marti Skow
Marti Skow is a boy raising, homeschooling, picture taking, blog/song/poetry writing, husband loving, work from home graphic artist. She has learned to graciously thrive in a house full of boys, living a life precariously between wedgie wars and warrior training. Marti has written several worship songs with her husband Josh and describes writing and poetry as her form of “knitting.” Some of her favorite things are good coffee (spelled Smokey Row), historical fiction and breakfast foods…preferably enjoyed together. Marti’s desire is to see the world as God sees it and to love His people as He does. You can read more about Marti’s life with boys at www.betterbelieveit.wordpress.com.

2 COMMENTS

    • You’re sweet Abby but I think it’s time for someone else to get a shot at sharing their hearts with this amazing tribe of women. Thanks for reading 🙂

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