The Lie of Life Work Balance as a Mom

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work balanceEarly on in motherhood I was made to believe that if I did things a specific way, my life would go smoothly. I just had to find the right “trick” or routine.

Society tells moms if we try hard enough, we can have balance between our motherhood responsibilities, work, and self-care. Supposedly it is all a matter of effort and everything will all balance out.

I am here to tell you it’s all a lie. Not only is this supposed, “balance” unattainable but also it doesn’t even exist!

This motherhood thing is a 24-hour gig.

Even when I’m not in the midst of changing diapers, cooking meals, or reading the same book for the millionth time my mothering mind never shuts off. I can be immersed in my “other job” completely present. Yet in a single second I can easily flip my focus. The scale on the mothering side is always fully loaded, while the other side is constantly changing.

There’s No Balance in Motherhood

The idea of balance calls for an even distribution of weight. I know I am not the only mom out there who has felt weighed down by the demands of mothering and working. I can’t do it all although at one time I believed I could. Since becoming a mom, I don’t think there has ever been a day when I felt caught up or that everything on my list was accomplished. Some days I am severely overloaded. But then the next may be one of those days where it all seems to be a breeze.

Constantly seeking out this balance does nothing but weigh me down even more. Adding to the pressure I already feel to do and be it all. It’s important to acknowledge that searching for this balance can rob us of precious moments. Instead of trying to balance it all out, we need to shift focus to being OK with letting some things go while giving our attention to others. It’s not going to be equal, it isn’t supposed to be.

So let it go mommas.

Forget about this idea of finding balance and be present. Focus on one thing at a time and soak it in. It won’t always be this way.

work life balance

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Casey is an Iowa captive by way of Alabama. She lives in Urbandale with her first responder husband Derek, black lab Dakota, and human daughter Avery (2018). She loves being a mom and is navigating her journey with her own version of what motherhood looks like including shamelessly singing “Baby Shark” on command and eating Oreos during nap time so she doesn’t have to share. Casey works part time as a Child Life Specialist at a local hospital where she has a deep passion for advocating for and empowering children and families in the face of adversity. In her “free time” Casey enjoys baking, specializing in boxed brownies and pre-made cookie dough. She also enjoys reading historical fiction books and watching Netflix. Her preferred forms of communication include sarcasm, emojis and gifs.

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