Pssst… I Have a Few Secrets to Share

Before I had children I lived in a fantasy world. I oohed and aahed over magazines, websites, and stores toting all the newest baby garb and baby wisdom. It seemed like an angelic world of snuggling engulfed in clouds of love and scented with Baby Magic. Well… let’s face it. Reality was a bit different, and the smell of “baby magic” I grew accustomed to didn’t come from a sweet pink bottle.

I felt betrayed and tricked. Nobody told me of the numerous outfits I’d go through in one morning after my projectile spitter nailed me for the fourth time. No one told me of the oh-so-delicate maneuvering I’d have to do with my son’s “parts” when he got a screaming case of diaper rash. I was led to believe in a fairy tale; and reality, however beautiful it has been, was quite a different genre on the bookshelf of life!

So, because I love you, and because I always want to be real with you, I’ve decided it’s time to spill the beans. Today, I’m officially equally close to the ages of 30 and 40. Smack dab in the middle. Thirty-five and a half years today. So, out of my sheer dedication and desire to keep you informed through all stages of this sisterhood, I’m laying it out here for you today. Many of these observations are for WOMEN ONLY. Men, you’ve been warned. Some things are best kept in the ‘hood.

Hair – The state of the hair on my body has been like watching a poorly maintained lawn. I mow it down and, in some areas, it pops back up with vigor. In other areas, it completely disappears, then, like that pesky game of Whack-a-Mole at the arcade, it pops back in a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT AREA?!?! This was never explained to me, but it’s true. I’m watching it with my own two eyes.

There are hairs on my face that have taken on a life of their own. Once a nice peach fuzz, they’ve gained strength and numbers and make their appearance as unsightly, coarse, “horse-tail-like” appendages on my chin. Giggle if you must, but I’m warning you… it’s coming. I go to bed at night, after a quick once over of my chin, only to wake up the next morning with a chin hair army standing at attention. WHAT?!? Seriously? I plucked them ALL before bed and now this?? It’s truly incredible and possibly the eighth wonder of the world.

Stamina – Ten years ago I would wake up, nurse a baby, slap breakfast on the table for a two-year-old, clean up my kitchen, throw in some laundry, play a game of Little People, read a few stories, work on a craft (pre-Pinterest era), throw kids in a bubble bath, feed them lunch, take a nap, and be ready for action. Today? Coffee. Must. Have. Coffee. To. Function.

After a cup (or three) I will begin to address requests from the hoard. Not a second before (unless it’s a certifiable emergency). As for crafts? One per year. This is last year’s accomplishment (post-Pinterest era). Embroidery hoops purchased from Goodwill turned into wall art. My favorite was the potpourri unicorn front and center in the top picture.

I just don’t have the energy I used to have. I have a list of projects I’d like to accomplish but just can’t muster the extra energy for. Things are different in this body of mine. After a day’s worth of household tasks, homeschooling, carpooling, and behavior retooling, I’m spent.

The week before Mother’s Day I decided to conquer a bit of yard work that needed to be done. It required a huge amount of raking, dirt hauling, re-seeding, more raking, and general brute strength. I pushed myself to the limit working 6+ hours in the yard for a few days straight. What happened next? Sleep. I slept away four hours of my Mother’s Day afternoon out of sheer exhaustion. This old grey mare just ain’t what she used to be.

Mellow-O-Meter – This is one tidbit of joy I get to share with those of you under me in years and experience. You will mellow out. Right now, you’re uptight about so many things that simply aren’t worth your worry. I could list them out, but you know what they are. For me, it was the nasty comparison bug. I worried I wasn’t feeding my kids the “right” snack compared to another mom. I fretted when someone made a sideways comment about our choice of TV time for our kids. I doubted. I second-guessed myself. I had misgivings about my choices and took out my anxiety and stress on my kids. I forced them into collared shirts for church, for appearance sake, and barked at them when they “embarrassed” me in public.

Today, things are a bit different. I have grown to care more about their hearts as we leave for church than what shirt they’re wearing. I’ve relaxed about how they act in public. I’ve grown to love their individuality more and to desire conformity less. For instance, I have witnesses to testify to the fact that my son wore a lawn and leaf bag “costume” to our small group picnic last Sunday. Weird? Yes. Totally working out his unique personality and confidence? You betcha!

I stress less about my house. I enjoy more time reading books. I fret less about tomorrow and enjoy more of today. I’ve learned to laugh at myself (chin hairs included) and to enjoy the gifts placed around me in the moment.

So, dear friend, if you’ve learned anything from my post today, know this: change is on the horizon, and although it may include a few more pesky hairs than you’d like, it’s a beautiful thing. Grab a girlfriend and share your latest discovery about growing older. Perhaps it’s a treacherous tale of trampoline tinkling (if this doesn’t make sense, it soon will). Whatever your case may be, embrace the upcoming changes and know: you are not alone.