Prematurity Awareness: Geneva’s Story

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Prematurity Awareness: Geneva's StoryThree years of trying. One miscarriage. Two surgeries. Months and months of fertility medications. A ridiculous number of ovulation and pregnancy tests. After all of this, I was finally pregnant.

I was blessed to go about my first pregnancy “normally.” I could exercise, prepare meals, meet friends for lunch, and maintain my usual weekly routines. Then, I suddenly went into labor at 32 weeks.

We arrived at the hospital, and I was given medication to try to stop labor, but it didn’t work. The baby arrived within a few hours. All 4 lbs. 2 oz. of perfect, pink, baby Noah. He had a healthy loud cry and a full head of dark hair. He was immediately wrapped in something that looked like saran wrap, stabilized, and rushed to the NICU.

I didn’t see my baby again until later that day. I wasn’t able to hold him the day he was born. He was healthy, but he was premature, and I was angry. It wasn’t fair. I felt that I was entitled to a perfect pregnancy and baby since we’d had so much trouble conceiving. Noah needed to stay in the NICU until he could feed well and regulate his own body temperature. He had no other issues, and he was there for only 29 days. Those 29 days were filled with needle pokes and IVs and tests that made me cry and cringe—and that fueled my anger. We brought a healthy baby home, but I was still angry. The anger never subsided, even as Noah met milestones and grew into a fun-loving two-year-old.

Little did I know, two and a half years later, 24 weeks into my second pregnancy, I would be rushed to the hospital by ambulance, and we would be in the NICU once again. This time, we had a micro preemie, a term used for babies born weighing less than 2 lbs. Evan was born via emergency C-section, so I wasn’t awake for his birth and didn’t see him until later. I honestly don’t know if it was later the same day, or sometime the next day. It’s still a blur.

Prematurity Awareness: Geneva's Story
Evan at 24 weeks gestation

I had never known babies could be born this early. I don’t think there are words to describe the emotions that accompany the birth of an extremely premature baby.

I felt hatred for my body. My body that was obviously defective and couldn’t carry a child to term. My body that couldn’t even carry a child through his second trimester.

I felt sorrow and pain for my poor little micro preemie. He endured five emergency surgeries (including a laser eye surgery to save his eyesight), hundreds of tests, needle pokes, IVs, x-rays, medications, infections, illnesses, and much trauma to his body. These things weren’t supposed to happen. He should have been safe in my womb, not out here in the world, enduring discomfort and pain each day just so he could survive.

I felt thankful for modern medicine, but at the same time I despised it.

I felt all of this in addition to tremendous guilt, thinking I was somehow responsible for his early birth.

Had I known the truth about prematurity, I may have been more cautious during that second pregnancy. Had I known about the severe medical complications and possible long-term challenges for a premature child, maybe I would have been more careful. Had I known the complete truth about prematurity, I also would have known that there are times when preterm labor and pregnancy complications can’t be prevented. There are times when it can’t be predicted. Even with all of the research, medical advances, and preventative measures we have today, it can still happen. Had I known that side of the truth, maybe I wouldn’t have blamed myself so much.

The best advice I can give to expectant mothers is to be aware. Whether this is your first or fifth pregnancy, please do not hesitate to see your doctor or to immediately report anything that doesn’t feel normal. It’s better to visit the doctor or hospital and find out everything is okay than to wait or assume all is well, only to find out it may not be. I am definitely not trying to scare anyone, but the chances of stopping early labor or effectively treating mom and/or baby for a medical condition are greater with early intervention.

God has done a great work in my life through this experience, and many miracles have happened in the life of this former tiny baby who fought to survive. He is healthy and has been healed of many of the long-term complications that can result from premature birth. He has a few minor challenges, but he has also been reading since he was two and a half. He is now four years old, is extremely persistent, loves music and animals, and reads at the fifth grade level. He does not, however, like to get himself dressed in the morning! I am thankful to now be living a “normal” life with my kids, but the reality and experience of prematurity will always be with us.

If you’d like more information about prematurity, support, and other resources, please visit the following websites.

www.marchofdimes.org

www.holdingtinyhands.com


Meet Guest Blogger Geneva Ross

Prematurity Awareness: Geneva's StoryGeneva is a follower of Christ, wife, mother, group fitness instructor, and personal trainer. She spends most of her time raising her two boys, who both were born prematurely. Geneva can be reached at [email protected].

3 COMMENTS

  1. no words my friend! amazing post and so many of us relate deeply to the thoughts, feelings, and anger you describe. so thankful for your example and courage and all i have learned from you! thankful god gave us both miracles!

  2. Such great words, Geneva! You are so inspiring and your boys are so lucky to have you as their mom. It is humbling to know how many women go through this, thanks for giving your story a voice and sharing what God has done in your life!

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