I See You

0

mom I see you not aloneThere was recently a trend going around on social media: Post a picture of yourself when you were at your lowest and nobody knew.

I started thinking about what picture would accurately portray that time in my life, as there are several to choose from. In each of those photos, I had a smile on my face and two kids in tow.

It made me reflect on where I was at that point in time and revisit some emotions that are still very much there when I allow them to surface. I think about my friends at the time, the people in my circle, and my family. It made me sad for the woman in those photos. It made present me want to reach out and give past me a giant hug and to offer some advice to a woman who was struggling:  

  1. You don’t owe anyone anything.

It bears repeating… you don’t owe anyone anything! Not a forced smile, not an explanation, not a plan, not a façade. It’s not up to you to make other people feel better around you, if they’re in your corner, they’ll understand. You’re allowed to cry, sulk, be moody, irrational, unreasonable, and upset. If they value you, they’ll help you weather whatever storm it is you’re facing without judgment or expectation. They’ll love you even when you can’t love yourself.

  1. It gets better.

SO much better. On the darkest days, it’s impossible to see the light. Here’s a quote I love “what a wonderful thought it is that some of the best days of our lives haven’t even happened yet”- Anne Frank. This quote got me through a lot of bad days knowing that better days lie ahead. When you’re at your lowest there’s nowhere to go but up. The thought of living to see the best days of my life pushed me forward. They did come, and continue to come. My past struggles make me appreciate the good days even more.

  1. You are not alone.

I know it can feel that way. That no one can possibly understand what you’re going through. No one else can possibly empathize with your current situation. But I assure you, while your situation is uniquely yours, there is someone who can relate. It may not be someone in your current circle and that’s okay. Even if that person is in your circle you may not feel comfortable letting them in on your current state, and that’s okay too. But there are resources and mental health experts who are ready to go to battle with you at any time against your mental health struggles. You are not alone, even when it feels like you are.

  1. It’s ok to let go.

This one was HARD for me. There are people who come into our lives at all different stages, and not all of those people can stay for each one. Learning to walk away and cut ties was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. But in learning to do so I was finally able to start healing. It sounds incredibly selfish, but if someone is not impacting your life in a positive way, do not allow them to take up space. This can be friends and even family members. Don’t owe anyone a place in your life who brings you down and isn’t a part of your journey to your best self. If it’s a relationship that is weighing on you, allow yourself to let it go.

As you reflect, what would your photo be? Something from your childhood? Or from 10 years ago? Something fairly recent? Or perhaps you’re at your lowest right now?

If it’s in your past, I encourage you to be the light for a friend. You may be seeing their smiling face all over social media, but smiles can be used to mask a lot of things. Reach out to a friend and ask how they’re doing. They may not share anything of substance, but it could make all the difference in the world.

If you’re currently at this point, I hope this advice resonates with you. I hope you have the strength to reach out to someone who is willing to steer the ship as you weather the storm. I offer you a giant virtual hug, and leave you again with this.

“What a wonderful thought it is that some of the best days of our lives haven’t even happened yet.” – Anne Frank

You’re not alone mom! 

Previous articleMy Molar Pregnancy
Next articleWhy I Came Back To Social Media
Kinzy Gillespie
Kinzy is a self-proclaimed “cool mom” to 3 spirited kids: Kellan (2012), Harper (2014), and Charlotte (2019). Her husband James is a Des Moines Firefighter whose only real downfall is his wholehearted participation in “Movember.” When she’s not working diligently to answer the ten thousand questions her kids ask in a day, she can be found slamming coffee, adding things to her shopping carts online knowing full well she’ll never actually checkout, and laughing at her own jokes. She spends most of her days reminiscing about when naps were still a thing, avoiding household chores, and striving to perfect the work/life balance.

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here