Never Have I Ever is a game you may or may not have played in college. You say something you’ve never done and those who have done it raise their hand – or take a drink.
Welcome to Never Have I Ever – mom edition. I made a list of things below with a bit of a twist – they’re ALL things I’ve done.
Give yourself one point for each thing you’ve done! My score is 11 out of 11.
Never Have I Ever …
Questioned how I feed my kid
This is a lose-lose situation. I’ve questioned this from the minute they were born and, according to the internet, I am still failing at it.
Kept clothing for over 20 years … and still wear it
I have a nightshirt I wore when I was pregnant with my son. He’s now 10. I wear a sweatshirt from high school because it’s comfortable. And, I probably even have some way too-old underwear still in circulation. Good grief.
Let my kids watch questionable things for their age.
My oldest was infatuated with dinosaurs at a young age. By four, he was watching the Jurassic Park series. No nightmares, he genuinely loved the dinosaurs. I didn’t see anything wrong with this. Then, it happened to be on TV while we had a bunch of people over. I wasn’t actively playing it – it was just kind of there. A kid started bawling – whoops! My bad. This is not normal parenting for little kids!
Liked one kid better than the other
We don’t admit this. But, there are times I 100% like one kid over the other!
Wished for an apartment
How cool would it be to have your own apartment? Everything would be tidy and cute. I could go there a couple hours a week, read a book, and not be interrupted by someone who needs juice or their iPad password RIGHT NOW.
Lost your kid in a public place
I heard a kid crying at a children’s museum in Minneapolis. Man, was he upset. Evidently, it was my kid and he was lost. I thought he was with my husband, my husband thought he was with me.
Booked Adventureland Inn for the swim-up bar
You know you have! No long car ride, a glass roof where the sun shines in January, slides, and yes, a swim-up bar. Raising kids doesn’t leave much time for tropical vacations with swim-up bars. So, thanks, Adventureland Inn.
Been thankful for Chick-fil-A
When we were on a three-hour flight, my son cried so hard that he barfed red Gatorade all over me. We got out of the airport and pulled into a nearby Chick-fil-A. I am almost positive there were tears in my eyes at the sight of a Chick-fil-A bathroom. It was clean and had everything I needed to clean us up. Their food is good but their staff and family-friendly attention to detail put them over the top.
Questioned your parenting
Every day and I think it gets worse as they get older. Are you in too many activities? Not enough activities? Do you like school or should we move? Did you get made fun of? Were you mean to anybody? Did waking up late and leaving without breakfast make you hungry at school? Am I present enough or is my head still at work? What are we doing for summer care? When is the last time you had a vegetable? Do your shoes fit?
Swore in front of your kids
I don’t know why sailors get a bad reputation. I am sure they’re lovely people, even with potty mouths. Yes, I am the parent twho will be called when my kid lets something slip at school. I have an issue (especially in the car) and I am working on it. “You turkey” and “Oh, pineapples” just don’t have the same ring to it when you’re cut off in traffic on I-35
Cried because you miss them and they’re right in front of you
Every now and then, I look at my kids and know this won’t last forever. It brings tears to my eyes because I miss raising them and they aren’t even gone yet.
Parenting is tough. You can lose yourself completely – and at times, we all do. But, we’re given the opportunity to raise tiny humans and that is pretty awesome – no matter how high your Never Have I Ever score ends up being.
