*Please note: This is a very candid post that I was nervous to write. But for all of you out there, I totally get it.*

So you get a phone call. Your friend, mother-in-law, colleague is stopping by in five minutes. The panic sets in. Your heart starts racing. Your house is a mess. Your kids are still in pajamas (yes, it is 11 a.m.), and you don’t even have a bra on. What do you do?

For me, this evokes feelings of inadequacy as a wife and mother. There are toys scattered around the living room, dishes in the sink, and an area rug that needed vacuumed days ago. What will people think when they see how we really live? Will they judge me? Will they think I’m lazy?

That’s when I realized: it doesn’t matter. This is my real life. And this is how I live.

If you’re like me, you clean your house when company comes over, for a holiday, or maybe even if you feel motivated on a weekday (gasp). But most of the time, our house is very “lived in.” Our decorations consist of laundry baskets of clean or dirty clothes. Most of my time is spent running around cleaning up messes from the two-year-old and changing a copious amount of diapers.

I’m not saying all households are like this. There are moms who I am continuously jealous of. You know the ones. The ones who can’t go to bed without throwing in a load of laundry or tidying up the kitchen. I wish I was one of them, but I just am not.

What I am working on is knowing that it is okay to have a house that isn’t perfect 100 percent of the time. Or even 50 percent of the time.

I’m not less of a mom or a wife. I’m doing the best that I can each and every day. And if that means a little more time snuggling than vacuuming or going to bed at 8 p.m. because I just graded 140 essays, I’m okay with that. I won’t remember how clean my house is, but I will remember the Lego building and cookie baking sessions. I’m living in *my own real life*, and I’m not going to be ashamed anymore.

What is the “real life” situation in your house today?