Truth be told, I wrote this post a while ago. I was contemplating if I would actually post it. I am not usually one for self-help remedies, but this tidbit really helped me “let go” of trying to be the perfect mother.
I love getting advice from friends and other moms! My good friend Ally shared this with me a while ago and now I want to share it with you! I wish you all a wonderful, safe New Year!
A wise friend once told me to “Figure out who I am NOT.”
At first, it sounded kind of crazy to me. Do I really even want to know who I am not? Won’t that be kind of depressing? Quite the contrary! It helped lift the “Super Mom” burden.
It can be completely exhausting to “do it all” or make it seem like you “have it all together.” When I fail at being “Super Mom” it leaves me feeling frustrated and inadequate.
The reality is, we really can’t do it all…that job is for the man upstairs or maybe June Cleaver (and really June…who were you kidding vacuuming and cooking all those years wearing a dress and heels?!)
While making my list, I was getting a complex: Some of the things I AM NOT are things I would really like to see on my I AM list. So, I kept reminding myself “everything has a season.” Just because its on my “I AM NOT” list, doesn’t mean it always will be. For example: I am not a sewer. WOW! It hurts my fingers just to type that. I would really love to learn to sew. I would make beautiful dresses for my girls and unique throw pillows for my home (burst my bubble now!). BUT the reality is, right now, it will have to remain on my “I AM NOT” list (and maybe it will always be there).
If you decide to do this with me, you may want to make a GOALS list when you are done. Pick the tangible things on your “I AM NOT” list that you would like to see on your “I AM” list someday. Then set a goal for when you would like to see it there!
Also, be willing to accept the things you AREN’T and never will be. For example, I wish I was more type A…super organized, scheduled, planner… BUT God wired me differently and I am learning to be okay with that.
I have found that I am much more confident in myself knowing the things I am not. When a friend is talking about her latest sewing project, I no longer have to feel inadequate because right now I AM NOT a sewer.
Do you struggle with “Super Mom” inadequacy? What are some of the items on your “ Who I am not” list?
Thank you for such an honest and encouraging post Katie. So many things on my I am not list…but I am so thankful for what I am and will focus on those things!!
Love this!! It is nice to know that others feel the same way as I do. It is so hard to admit sometimes what we are not and accept our limitations. Thanks for posting.
I LOVE that picture of you, Katie! Very fitting for a “super mom” post. 🙂 Thanks for sharing this perspective and encouragement. I think that by nature I put a lot of pressure on myself to be the best I can be, and sometimes that makes it hard for me to be okay with NOT being something… or to ADMIT that I’m NOT something. (Ha!) So let me practice…. I am NOT crafty. (But I am slowly working on learning to sew!)
I recently wrote a guest post called “What’s a Super Mom, Anyway?” for another blogger. Check it out for some additional lifting of the “Super Mom burden.” 🙂 http://tjsmhanesfamily.blogspot.com/2012/10/guest-post-whats-super-mom-anyway.html
Thanks Katie! I do love to sew but I am not good at following patterns or directions. I am not a perfectionist so while I sewed the curtains in our home don’t look at the hemline – it is not straight:) The puddle on the floor so you can’t tell. You can come over anytime and I would love to teach you basic sewing but I doubt I could sew your girls a cute dress!
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