Why is it so hard to love yourself?
For most of my life, I told myself I had to be perfect.
When I finally lost that last 5 pounds…
As long as I always dressed the part…
If my home was spotless and styled like something out of a magazine…
Then I could make my life perfect. I could be perfect and then maybe, just maybe, I would finally be happy.
When I entered motherhood, I dove in head-first with the same level of determination and zeal, only to have my fictional motherhood dreams come crumbling down around me.
I remember staring at my raccoon-eyed reflection in the mirror shortly after having my firstborn and feeling absolutely defeated. I was exhausted, I had a baby I couldn’t seem to soothe, and I had no idea how to navigate this new role. Furthermore, I resented myself for not “bouncing back” the way society had told me I was supposed to. The stretch marks and saggy boobs weren’t exactly part of my plan.
Fortunately, I’ve done a lot of healing in the last 5 years. I now realize my efforts to become perfect never resulted in the happiness I desired because I was robbing myself of the self-love I deserved. Most importantly, I discovered that motherhood isn’t about becoming something unattainable, but about embracing my gifts and loving the skin I’m in.
Although I didn’t end up being the perfect mom, I ended up being really really happy. I’ll take that over perfection any day!
5 Ways to Love Yourself
In honor of February being the month of love, I’d like to encourage you to carve out some time to do something just for you!
1. Write a Love Letter
Take some quiet time alone and write yourself a love note. What would you tell your younger self? What words do you need to hear to feel encouraged at this stage in your life? How could you be a little more loving to yourself for the joy you bring into the world each and every day? You are capable, loved, and worthy, mama-it’s time you reminded yourself of that!
2. Do This Mirror Exercise
As moms, it’s so easy to beat ourselves up for not looking the way we did pre-baby. Whenever I am feeling at my lowest, I like to take a few minutes to practice this exercise. I lock myself in my room, stare in the mirror, and take time to really compliment each and every part of my body. I verbally tell myself things such as, “These stretch marks are proof of the life that once grew within me. My breasts that no longer resist gravity are a reminder of my ability to nurse my babies and provide them with the nourishment they needed. These wrinkles formed as a result of a life filled with laughter and joy.”
The key with this exercise is to speak to yourself the way you would a friend and to take the time to appreciate the beauty and strength of your body.
3. Cultivate a Mama Morning Routine
I used to hit snooze for an hour and then guzzle multiple cups of coffee as I anxiously rushed my kids out the door each morning. Then, I discovered the power behind a good mama morning routine. After a little trial and error, I came to love my early mornings and the sense of peace and empowerment I gained.
Try starting your morning with a meditation, a few minutes to journal and practice gratitude, or a long, luxurious shower. Taking even a few minutes to pour into yourself before the chaos of the day begins, helps you approach your day with an entirely different mindset and energy.
4. Take Yourself on a Date
Hire a sitter and mark the day on your calendar because you’re going to take some well-deserved time just for you! Head to the store to purchase your favorite flowers, enjoy lunch at that new restaurant, or treat yourself to a massage. Whatever you decide, take time to consciously fill your day with your favorite things and do so without feeling guilty!
5. Learn Something New
There is nothing more empowering than learning something new. Start by making a list of subjects you are interested in or any skills you’ve been wanting to master. Next, look into classes offered online or in your area that spark your interest. Whether it’s a new language or throwing pottery, taking time to learn about something you enjoy is an incredible expression of self-love.
