We learn things from other moms all the time. I take the good things and apply them to my life. I take the things that don’t fit and leave them behind. It’s how I survive. Most of us aren’t writing any parenting books, so we learn from the people around us. I have no idea what I am doing most of the time. Sure, I have two kids, so you would think I have it all figured out for the second child. But not really. Each day brings its own set of challenges, its own obstacles, that we must figure out how to respond to in about a second and a half.
I can tell you that I don’t always respond well. Most of the time, yes, I do okay, but after the 45th time of telling my sweet boy to put on his shoes… I lose my cool. Then I have to go back to the rules of our house and one of the best things I learned from another mom: be kind and respectful. Seems silly that I would need to learn that from another mom, but how it came about is what I learned from her.
Let me back up. A few years ago, my friend was dropping her kiddos off at my house. Before she left she told them to “be a blessing.” The kids knew exactly what that meant. She didn’t have to say anything else. They had talked about it before coming to our house, and it was just an expectation. “Be a blessing” pretty much boiled down to being kind and respectful while they were there. I loved it and totally stole it to use for my family.
We chose the words, “Be kind and respectful.” So now our boys know what that means. They know they need to be good listeners, be a good friend, and have fun. Before we go into any situation, we always ask the boys how they are going to act while we are there, and they respond, “KIND AND RESPECTFUL!”
It just serves as an simple reminder of what we expect from them. It’s easy to remember, and it’s easy to apply to so many situations. For example, when I lose my cool, I need to remind myself that I wasn’t being very kind or respectful. This serves as an awesome opportunity to talk about our rules with the boys and to show them how to apologize. I mean, someone has to teach them, right?! If I were the perfect parent I would never get the chance to show them how to handle a less than stellar situation.
So, learn from the people around you. There is plenty to soak up, and you might not agree with it all. Take the good stuff and leave what doesn’t fit for you, because, in the end, aren’t we just trying to raise kind and respectful little humans? And kindness always wins.
