As the daughter of a collegiate coach, I owned a basketball before I knew who Barbie was. Athletic events were considered family vacations. Being smart was knowing the difference between the World Series and the World Cup. Every mundane thing, such as a car ride or dinnertime, was turned into a “friendly” competition. Sports played a large role in my childhood and I strongly believe helped teach me determination, cooperation, and perseverance.
It has been almost ten years since I last put on a uniform and competed. In what seems like the blink of an eye, my role has switched from athlete to mom. While I love sport — while I know all the benefits of playing on a team, working hard, and setting goals — I am still undecided on whether or not to sign my kids up for organized sport.
Even with my experience and passion for sport, here are my reasons for hesitation:
- Age. My kids are still young. We’ve done soccer and basketball. My oldest scored seven goals in his first soccer game, and you know we thought we were in for a life of bleacher butt! By his second game, the glory faded as he spent more time talking and skipping around than he did actually playing the game. Then there was soccer for my second son. We signed him up at three. Yes, three. That sounds so young when I say it. And well, he cried, the whole time. Parents of the year right here, folks!
In a happier moment…. Little soccer boys sure are cute, though! - Desire. They haven’t asked to play. My boys love to play. They make up games all the time. They play basketball downstairs with their dad, soccer outside with their friends, and play tag and ready-set-go everywhere! Yet, they have never once asked us, “Can I play soccer this spring?” If it’s not their desire, I really don’t want to force it upon them.
- Fun. I’ve learned there is a difference between play and organized sport. This winter my seven-year-old played on a basketball team. He loves basketball. We thought he’d be ready to play on a team. Well, he did fine; but I, his momma, could sense his anxiety. After talking to him, I learned he was scared of screwing up (typical first child). Before this, basketball was just fun. He didn’t seem quite ready to embrace organized ball.
- Coaches. This one is harder for me to admit since I am a coach and even provide professional development for coaches (see more below). Honestly, though, I’m a little anxious for my kids to have an experience with a bad coach. As a society, we have worked so hard to get bully behavior out of the classroom, yet we still condone it on the field of sport. This is unacceptable. While our kids haven’t experienced a bully coach yet, I’d still like to protect them from the possibility.
- Friends. Gone are the days of cruising the town on your bike til dinnertime. Organized activities are one of the only ways today to meet other families. Just having moved to a new town, this one is a big consideration for us.
- Schedule. I am constantly shuttling my four kids here, there, and everywhere. I feel as though adding practices and games to our schedule would add more stress than it’s worth. As for now, I still want time for my kids to just play.
I firmly believe each family has to make the choice that is best for them. I’m also learning the choice to play or not to play sport will vary with each child. As for us and soccer this spring, it looks like the choice is no — but, there is always summer….
What age were your kids when they started to play organized sports? How did you make your decision?
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As stated above, I help provide Professional Development to coaches, whether youth, high school, or college. This June 19, 2015, will be the first Positive Coaching Workshop in Des Moines. If you are a coach or know a coach, please share this registration with them. The more we encourage our coaches to learn, the better experiences our kids will have!
