Do you have a good baby?


There is nothing sweeter than snuggling a newborn baby.

I recently became momma to my second baby girl, and I couldn’t be more in love. She loves her binky, her big sister, and of course, lots of snuggles with Mommy and Daddy. Both of our girls are precious and perfect.

As a mom, the question I seem to get asked the most is the one that also makes me cringe the most. It may be well intentioned, but it just rubs me the wrong way.

“Is she a good baby?”

Of course she is!

She is my baby girl. She is loved. I would never consider answering that question with anything negative.

I answer this question by saying she is sweet and I love her very much. Inside I’m wondering what the person would say if I responded with a no. What in their mind constitutes a baby who is not good?

Aren’t all babies good, beautiful, and perfect? Even if they don’t sleep through the night or have a calm temperament 24/7?


Do you have a good baby? Des Moines Moms Blog

The question is well intentioned. We all hope for new mommas to have a good experience with their new babies. We hope for the baby to not be fussy and allow the momma some sleep. I get that.

I guess what irks me about the question is that not all babies have a perfect temperament. Not all babies are great sleepers. In fact, most babies cry. A lot. And they don’t sleep very much at night. And that’s OK.

I hesitate to say babies can be “good” because then we are making the assumption that some babies can be “bad”.

In my mind, there is no such thing as a bad baby.

Because the minute we put a label on our babies is when we begin to label ourselves as parents. As much as we want to take credit for or feel guilty about our babies’ temperament and sleep habits, these have nothing to do with our parenting skills.

Because you know what? The momma with the colicky baby who co-sleeps is doing a great job. Just like the momma with the baby who sleeps through the night in his or her crib. Both mommas have good babies.

We all have good babies, and we all have good kids. Don’t let anyone (including yourself) try to convince you otherwise!

Our babies may cry, our kids may throw tantrums, and our tweens and teenagers may act up and have serious attitude. But beneath the cries we hear them, we see them, and they are all good.

We must believe in the good in our children and remind them that they are good, beautiful, and perfect gifts. And we love them very much, just as they are.




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