Five Tips for Surviving the Work-from-Home Mommy Tug-o’-War

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When I worked full-time I dreamed about the possibility of one day staying home with my kids. I wanted the chance to care, teach, and invest in their little selves throughout the day, every day. I didn’t want to miss milestones, and I wanted to spend as much time as possible with them.

Then when I was blessed with that opportunity, surprisingly, I missed working outside the home. I missed adult conversations, collaborating with colleagues, and contributing to the family finances. I missed showering daily and actually leaving the house.

So, when offered the chance to work from home, I jumped on it. I figured this was the best of both worlds, right? The opportunity to work AND be available to my kids. I could impact the world both inside and outside my home.

I imagined days filled with special mom-kid moments interspersed with fulfilling work accomplishments. I did not expect the tug-o’-war between career and motherhood or the realization that I wasn’t really succeeding at either.

I quickly learned that working from home takes serious time management and discipline, neither of which are my strong suits. Whether it be stacks of dishes, loads of laundry, or the chance to play Uno… again… home life is always staring me right in the face. Sometimes with big, sad, brown eyes.

Work-from-Home Workspace | Des Moines Moms Blog

And the same is true of work. Email and voicemail notifications unleash their siren’s call beckoning me back to my desk. I’m trying to stay focused on my kids, catching up about their day, reading a story or playing a game, but inside my head I’m wondering how many emails and phone calls I have to return.

Working from home should be ideal but often times feels impossible because the lines between work and home get blurry. I am torn between the two and left feeling like I’m not giving either pursuit my best.

Just when the client calls or the due date looms, it seems my kids want me the most. And it’s incredibly difficult telling them I can’t play/talk/read/snuggle with them right then. They don’t understand deadlines or office hours. They see me home and assume that means I’m available to them 100 percent.

And I want to be… but, my clients want me to be available for them 100 percent, too.

The other day, I was on the phone with a client when my boys broke out in a huge fight. The oldest is yelling and the youngest is crying. I’m holding my office door closed giving them the “Shhh, keep it down or I’m going to give you both something to cry about!” look.

In that moment, my kids are frustrated. I’m frustrated. And my client is frustrated, too. Is this ideal? No. So, is it simply impossible, or is there a way to make working from home “work”? I believe there is.

Here are five tips for surviving the work-from-home tug-o’-war:

1. Set your office hours.

When I established the hours I would be working during the day, I became more efficient and more present. When it was work time, I worked. And then when it wasn’t work time, I gave myself permission to walk away. This let me be more present when I was doing other things, namely hanging with my kids.

2. Stick to them.

This is the hardest part. Both parts of your life demand your time and attention. It’s so easy to let one or the other take priority — which is not a big deal occasionally, but can leave you feeling the working mom tug-o’-war over time. Having boundaries with your schedule allows everyone to get on the same page with expectations about your time.

3. Ask for help.

There’s no way I could work from home without my friends and family. Carpools, play dates, meals, and laundry are a few of the ways others help me daily. When a deadline is looming, I’m extremely grateful for that friend who takes my kids for the afternoon or my husband who picks up dinner.

4. Say goodbye to perfectionism.

Some days you’ll feel like Employee-of-the-Month and Worst Mom Ever simultaneously. Other days those titles will be reversed. Most days you’ll feel like a failure on both fronts. You aren’t. You are an incredible mom doing her best to balance work and motherhood. That’s a noble goal, and you’re nailing it! Give yourself a colossal break, do your best, and remember that B is a good grade!

5. Count your blessings.

When the printer stops working AND your son spills an entire bag of cheese puffs all over the floor (true story) AT THE SAME TIME, you’re gonna want to grumble. Or use words reserved only for adults. And that’s okay. Take a moment. Or two. But, after all is said and done, stop to remember how blessed you are. You have a job and great kids, and you get to spend your day enjoying both. And you can do it all in your pajamas should you choose.

Working from Home | Des Moines Moms Blog
My clients don’t know I’m wearing pajamas and slippers. Working from home for the win!

What are your work-from-home mommy survival tips?

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