Fantasy Mom Products I Wish Were Real


In my fantasy world, these products would truly exist:

The Time Stopper:

This product would stop the time on the world clock and allow you to restart it when you are ready. This would allow you to finish putting on your makeup in the morning (because you got distracted trying to mediate your children’s sibling scuffle about who-touched-who first) without being late. Again. Or just maybe, you could pause time for a while after the kids go to bed (or before they wake up, if you’re one of those morning people) and get all those things on your to-do list finished and actually have some time to sleep and function the following day. But do you know what would be the most popular use? Freezing time to just play, cuddle, and let our kids know how much we love them.The Time Stopper

The Mom Clone:

A perfect copy of you, the Mom Clone comes complete with your same brain functionality, which knows the kids’ temperaments, schedules, and where they need to be at what time. This product will allow you to actually get those said kids to their activities even when one or more child is sick so you will not have to call in various helpers in desperate attempt to recalculate arrival and departure times based on kinks thrown into the plan. Not only will the Mom Clone help with transportation, but while you are working or engaged with your kids, Mom Clone will plan, buy, and prepare every healthy meal you have on your Pinterest board. And know exactly how you’d like it done.

Instant Hairdo:

Simply pick out a hairstyle from endless options online. See a celebrity hairstyle that you are absolutely drooling over? Great! Just download it into the Instant Hairdo, stand under the contraption, and viola! Your hair looks exactly like you pictured it with absolutely no effort or disappointment at all!

Kid Mute Button:

Let’s be honest. We love our kids, but sometimes (especially when they are tired, two, or teenagers) they will not stop talking. This mute button, would allow the kids to think they are still whining, complaining, bothering you, when in fact you are blissfully going about your chores (or driving) in peaceful silence. When the whining episode has passed, simply press the mute button again and converse normally with your child.

Mute Button

Second Chance Rewinder:

Now, this invention would come in handy not only with your kids, but with all relationships and situations that didn’t go quite as planned. But for most moms’ needs, this would be especially great when you realize that the parenting decision you just made wasn’t quite the best. Or, you know, when you have said something for the twelfth time and finally succumb to the urge of raising your voice, just rewind with that 20/20 hindsight and try it again with a little more perspective.

Vomit, Urine, and Feces Eraser:

We all love the Magic Eraser, but what do moms hate cleaning the most? Vomit, urine, and feces, of course! So, every mom will be sprinting to get their hands on this product. Simply spray the Vomit, Urine, and Feces Eraser over the soiled child, carpet, bed, etc. This non-toxic, environmentally responsible product is safe to use on all surfaces, getting rid of all traces of nasty vomit, urine, and feces molecules while leaving all others unscathed.

We live in a cruel, cruel world where we can freeze away our fat and instantly beam our images halfway around the globe, yet the above products do not actually exist. Ahhh, one can dream, though, no?

What fantasy mom products do you wish were a reality?


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