“MOM-MEEEEEE!!” Lucy’s voice filled the therapy center waiting room where I’d been sitting for the past hour. My daughter was in her weekly speech and occupational therapies, and I’d been gabbing with Niki, a fellow “therapy mom” who had become a dear friend.
Lucy shoved her handwriting practice page in my hands and exulted in the fact that she’d been allowed to ride the zip line not once but TWICE in the sensory gym. She then flitted off to play while I debriefed with her therapists.
I picked up my purse and Lucy’s backpack and went to say goodbye to Niki when I realized she’d been watching my daughter with a ridiculously proud smile on her face. “Isn’t it amazing how another person’s kid can just make your eyes SPARKLE?” she marveled.
Yes. It IS amazing. It’s amazing to have a friend in my tribe who loves my child so fiercely and loyally.
Niki is the friend who defends Lucy when she’s involved in playground squabbles. Niki cries when I tell her about progress Lucy makes in her therapy goals. When parenting Lucy gets tough, Niki reminds me of the joy that Lucy gives me. In keeping with Niki’s statement that Lucy makes her eyes sparkle, I began to refer to her as one of our “sparklers”.
I have started to keep my eyes open for others whom I trust and who demonstrate similar affection and care for my kids. I keep them in the know regarding our family’s happenings (even the messy ones).
The “sparklers” in our inner circle have made all the difference in my mothering. When my husband was severely injured and hospitalized three years ago, our little circle of “sparklers” were first on the scene. They worked together and provided stability for my kids so our extended family and I could be present at the hospital and attend to my husband.
I could not survive without our sparklers. They are friends who have essentially become family.
*****
Our family of five had temporarily relocated to the Chicago area for my husband’s outpatient physical rehabilitation, and I was homesick.
One afternoon, my kids and I needed to do something normal, so we went to browse and play at Barnes and Noble. While scanning the shelves in the kids’ section I came across a darling little non-fiction paperback all about horses. Immediately, I thought about 4-year-old Brynn back in Des Moines. There is not a little girl in this world who loves horses the way Brynn loves horses. I snatched up the book and made plans to put together a little horse-themed care package to send to Brynn. Brynn is my dear friend, Jamie’s daughter. I love her like she is my own, and she makes my eyes sparkle!
The night before Brynn started kindergarten, I had butterflies in my stomach. I love hearing from Jamie about her latest interests. When Jamie invites me to brainstorm with her on parenting struggles, I count myself privileged. Having Brynn in my life and being one of her “sparklers” has made a beautiful difference in my life. She helps me remember that my kids are NOT the only kids in this world. Brynn helps take my focus outside the walls of my own home.
Fellow mamas, let’s be ever mindful that we need each other. Our families’ lives are richer because we have each other.
I challenge you: pay attention to those trusted friends whose eyes sparkle when they are with your kids. Watch for the kids outside of your little fold who put a sparkle in your own eye. Embrace and invest in these dear souls! Blessing is surely in store for all parties within these sparkly, family-like friendships.
