Living during a pandemic is really messing with my mind. Does anyone else feel this way?
I mean, on any given day, I feel more emotions than I would have in a months’ time, prior to March. Every day is a roller coaster. When I think I finally have a handle on how I view things, nope! I read an article that gives me new hopes, fears, or I see the other side of things again!
A friend and I were discussing this recently, and she said there’s a real issue with the way we are viewing information coming at us. Typically, it’s normal to take information and believe it to be true. However, we are at a point now where most of the information we receive we filter through a “this is probably false” lens, and it does have some significant psychological effects.
I would describe myself as an optimist, but I find it harder and harder to find the positives when there are so many conflicting reports, polarizing opinions, and nothing seems to be the right move.
Plus, my reaction to danger has mostly always been to freeze. Not to fight, I hate conflict. Not flight, I typically stand my ground. But I freeze. I dig in and pretend nothing’s happening. If I ignore it, it will go away, right? No, it never does! Honestly, my delay in dealing with things typically makes it worse. This freeze reaction has been in overdrive lately with everything going on. I don’t know what to think, what to feel, or what to do.
I would describe myself as a comforter, and these days, I don’t know how to comfort friends and family. What do they want me to say? Will I offend them if I tell them this? How will my actions (or lack of actions) affect those around me that I love?
If ever there was an extrovert’s extrovert, that is me. These decisions that used to be so easy for me are now some of the most paralyzing. Do I hang out with friends now that things are opening up? Do I keep hunkering down so I know I am not spreading the virus? Neither choice seems right.
I’m telling you, CoVID is really messing with my mind!
What about Back-To-School?
And now, I’m dealing with the ever-approaching Return to Learn, otherwise known as Back-to-School. Since I am a teacher, I am constantly asked what my thoughts are. In a nutshell, here are my thoughts on returning to school.
I love it.
I hate it.
I’m so excited.
I am so scared.
I am so nervous.
I am so ready.
I am so disappointed.
I feel prepared.
I feel so unprepared.
I want to go.
I don’t want to go.
It’s necessary for everyone’s mental health.
It will be detrimental for our mental health.
My students need a safe place back.
My family deserves to be safe.
Spin the wheel. Where it lands, that’s how I will feel. And then five minutes later, I will spin again and feel differently.
From my conversations lately, I know I am not the only one who is dealing with Covid brain. It is a strange time and can be very isolating. So, if you think this pandemic is messing with your mind, please, believe me, you are not alone! We will get through this!