Connecting with your Mate!

Jon and I all “fancy” for the Bravo Gala in Des Moines!

It’s Valentine’s Day!!  WHOOO HOOOO!

It’s time to celebrate you and your lover!  Some people boo over V-day and call it a Hallmark holiday…but ladies…it usually entails a nice dinner out or some other goodie from your man…so, let’s celebrate!

I thought it would be fun to talk about CONNECTING with your mate!  It’s so easy to connect…three kids later, a house to care for, and a social life…NOT!  It’s tough at times.  Jon and I find ourselves saying, “I just feel disconnected” from time to time.  No, I’m not an expert in this area…but through God’s grace, I am learning!  So, here’s some of my advice…and please, interject in the comments!

1. Get real with each other and talk.  Jon and I have tried to make it a practice to verbalize when we are feeling disconnected or off in our relationship.  Life get’s busy, take time to sit down and listen to each other.  Jon received some awesome advice from a mentor…every time we go out to dinner he always asks me what it is that I need most from him. This made it so easy for me to be open and honest with him.  (I always ask him back too!)

2.  Serve together.  Jon and I have the privilege of leading worship together at our church.  I can’t say enough what a blessing this is to us!  Simple ways you could put this to practice…rake leaves for a neighbor, coach a team, volunteer at a shelter, or volunteer in your church.  The important thing is doing it TOGETHER.  I trust you both will feel connected and be blessed!

3.  Find something fun to do together!  I have heard women say, “We have no common hobbies.”  I say, “I bet you do!” (LOL for my cheesiness.)  Don’t think of it as hobbies.  I am pretty sure every human being enjoys eating…so make a hobby out of trying new, interesting restaurants together!  Get creative!   Also, step out of your comfort zone.  I tell Jon all the time…as soon as the kids are old enough to be on their own…I’m going deer hunting with him (Maybe sooner if we get a sitter!).  You should see the joy it brings him!

Matching PJs are definitely a must in your marriage!

4.  I’m going to say it… make intimacy a priority!!  There really is no better way to connect with your spouse!  It is so easy to be selfish in this area. (I still struggle some days!)  Through good advice and wisdom, I made (and am making) strides in this area…YOU CAN TOO!

5.  Don’t take life too seriously. Laugh together, be goofy together, and dance to rap music together every once in a while!  Seriously…enjoy, enjoy, enjoy all life’s goodness together.

Happy Valentine’s Day!



  1. Katie Evans Fantastic post! Number five caught me off guard, but I do think that is a very important one (and possibly one I can work on)! Thanks for sharing!

  2. Great post, Katie! Lots of great advice. Do you remember about 5 years ago when we talked at FCA about dating/marriage? Funny we were giving advice with being newlyweds! Thanks again for this post.

  3. Marriage is the topic that has been being brought before me over and over, so it’s funny that it happens yet again via your blog post. 🙂 I think you have shared some very wise advice here, and I actually feel like these are ALL things my husband and I can work on in order to better “connect.” Really great post, Katie.


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