Becoming a Mother… When We Weren’t Expecting It

Becoming a Mother... When We Weren't Expecting It
photo courtesy of Katie Evans Photography

On December 7, 2013, my husband and I were on a date before going to a Christmas party. Shortly into our dinner conversation, I mentioned to him that I had been thinking about another baby and how it had been heavy on my heart and coming up more frequently in my prayers. His response,

Tam, can we not talk about this now, our life is too crazy. Let’s just enjoy dinner.

And that was that. I wasn’t surprised, nor saddened, at his response. I just figured I would give it some time and bring it up again if that desire was still there. We changed the subject and headed off to the party and had a wonderful time.

Six weeks later, my period was two weeks late.

I was certain it was due to stress or thought maybe I had miscalculated my cycle. We had been intentionally preventing conceiving – except for that one time after another Christmas party, since our second baby had been born two years earlier. As each new morning came with no signs of my cycle starting, I continued to blow off the possibility that I may be pregnant. By the third week, my excuses became less likely, and I picked up a pregnancy test after work, ran home before a meeting (no one else was home), peed on the stick, and before I got to the sink to wash my hands, I looked down and saw a positive sign.

My heart stopped momentarily and was overfilled with joy, and then the anxiety set in about what my husband was going to say. I ran upstairs, hid the test under a bag of garbage outside, and hurried off to my meeting. It was hard to concentrate, as I began calculating what my approximate due week would be, AND HOW IN THE WORLD I WAS GOING TO TELL MY HUSBAND.

I got home around 10 p.m. and my husband was still awake, along with our five- and two-year-old (two hours past their bedtime). Our daughter was screaming and our son was arguing with my husband about lying in bed with him longer because his sister had gotten more time. He looked at me with despair and I got the kids into bed. I asked him how his day was and he responded, “Those two are crazy and ridiculous!” I figured then was not the optimal time to let him know we would be adding another kiddo into the mix.

I hardly slept that night, and TWO days later, after friends helped us put a large deep freezer in our basement, I gave him a big hug, thanked him for his help, and then told him how handy that freezer was going to be when I would need to store bags of breastmilk that coming fall. He looked at me, tears filled my eyes, and then he patted my shoulder and told me, “You’re pregnant? Good job, way to go!”

Um, what?!?!

Let me tell you about a little miracle that had happened earthside two weeks previously. My husband had gone to meet with one of his friends and they were discussing financial goals. One of his friend’s most trusted mentors had told him not long before, as they were discussing regrets, that his biggest regret had nothing to do with finances, but that he and his wife had not had more children and the legacy they provided. His children had all grown and left the house, and they were left wishing they had had more children. Come to find out, this resonated deeply with my husband and his heart had been transformed. Thank you, Jesus, for your perfect timing! In a matter of weeks, he was now excited to have our family grow.

Becoming a Mother... When We Weren't Expecting It

I want you to know that when life throws you curve balls, even if those curve balls are amazing blessings, you do not need to be afraid. No timing and plan is more perfect than the Ultimate Planner’s.

Our third blessing is seven months old now. We adore her and can’t imagine life without her. Now my husband wants to know when we are having our next baby!

How did you tell your husband you were expecting, and what was his response? Share with us in the comments!


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