5 Ways I Am a “Bad” Mom


bad mom

What makes you a good mom or a bad mom?

I read a lot of blogs, online magazines, social media posts etc. I like to consume a lot of content on various topics. Out of all the content I have read over the years, parenting tips have been toward the top. I often read about “good and bad” parenting techniques to gauge where I fall in comparison to others. I am ashamed to report that I have “failed” miserably as a mother based on some conventional parenting advice.

5 ways I am a bad mom

I let my kids eat whatever they want.

I have zero food rules at my house. My kids can eat what they want, when they want. When they were little, I never had a “you need to clean your plate” rule. Now that they are older (18 and 12) if they want a snack, they can go make one. If they don’t want to eat what I make for dinner that’s ok. I always have both unhealthy and healthy snacks at home, and it is up to them to choose what they want. I don’t monitor what they eat and trust that as they get older and understand nutrition better, they will learn to make the best decisions. Fun fact, I am also a registered dietitian. (Oh, the irony!)

I let my kids have a TV in their room

I know the experts say this is a big “no no” and I totally agree with all the points they present as to why this is a bad Idea. However…. I don’t care. I had a TV in my room growing up. I love TV. I watch so much TV that it is a mystery to me how I hold down a full-time job, take care of kids, and write for this blog. I really believe that all my TV watching has given me a broader view of the world. Whether it is a high-brow PBS symphony or “The Real Housewives of New York” I am always watching TV. I also allow my kids to have a TV in their room. Does that make me a bad mom?

TV sparks some good dialogue within our family. We are always talking about the latest documentary we’ve seen or the funniest episode of “The Office.” Talking and sharing thoughts about television is a big part of our love language in this family, so I am pro television all the way. In fact, my kids fall asleep to it most nights. Which brings me to my next parenting faux pas.

We let our kids sleep with us whenever they want

Both girls slept in our bed most nights for a lot of years. Even now my middle schooler will crawl in occasionally. I think it makes them feel safe. Before you know it, they will be in college and you will hardly see them. I know this because I have a daughter in college and I hardly ever see her. I make no apologies for my kids having free reign over my bed.

I clean my kids’ rooms for them

I know, I know. How will they ever know how to clean themselves? Well honestly, when they are out of my house, it isn’t my problem anymore, is it? Seriously though, I love to clean. It is my stress release. Besides I have pretty high standards and I want things cleaned a certain way and frankly, my ego is such that I think I am the only one who can do it correctly.

I’m a pushover

This one I do feel badly about, but I do it anyway. I just can’t say no to my kids. I mean if it is unsafe or illegal of course I say no. But short of that, I’m pretty much a sure thing. I fall for all the tricks. Flattery, pouting, tears, arguing… it all works with me. Luckily, my husband is not a pushover so there is a chance that my girls won’t grow up to be little entitled brats.

So, there it is. These are only 5 of the many ways I am a bad mom according to the so-called experts.

I am not perfect, and I second guess myself constantly. But one thing I am sure about is that I love my kids and they know it. I protect my kids and they know that will never change. I say I’m sorry to them when I am wrong (which is often.) I’m not afraid to let them see all the emotions, the good, the bad, and the ugly.

So much of the information out there about how to be a better parent focuses on techniques for modifying your child’s behavior. However, I say if you love your kids and you do the best you can, then there are not really any right or wrong answers in the long run. But please don’t take my word for it. After all, I’m not an expert.

bad mom


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