A Letter to the Working Moms, Stay-at-Home Moms, and Work-from-Home Moms

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A Letter to the Working Moms, Stay-at-Home Moms, and Work-from-Home Moms | Des Moines Moms Blog

Dear Moms of the World,

Mothering is hard.

Mothering is hard if you are a working mom, a stay-at-home mom, or fall in the in-between of a work-from-home mom. I have had the joy of all three work situations, and there’s not a time where I didn’t think the grass has got to be greener for the other mom. Good gracious, it has to be easier than this.

Here are a few things I want all you working moms, SAHMs, and work-from-home moms to know.

Working Mom guilt is real.

You are constantly worrying about your child and worrying that someday they will reveal to you that they felt less loved because you chose to work instead of being home with them. God forbid you have a demanding boss or job and you have to worry about your kids and your job. My guess is 1) you are working because your family needs your income or 2) you love your job and the impact it makes in other people’s lives. The stress of work feels heavy, and it is. But at the end of the day, you are demonstrating the value of an education and working for an honest dollar. You are setting a brilliant example for your children about independence and equality in the workplace and fighting for support of working moms and families. Well done, Working Mom!

Stay-at-Home Mom, your life is no cakewalk.

While you are not technically “working,” no one is ever going to argue that being home with drooly, food-throwing babes is easy. It’s not like you are eating bonbons and watching HGTV all day long! Good gracious, no. If you have to read Moo, Ba, La La La one more time, you might just throw that book in the trash or hide in the bathroom for “quiet time.” You worry about not financially contributing to your budget or losing any semblance of who you were pre-kids. You are lonely and crave adult interaction beyond the Target clerk you overshared with. Your tiny toddler tyrant bosses demand to be fed, wiped, entertained, and sang to every. single. moment. But at the end of the day, SAHM, those tiny tyrants love you to bits, and you get to witness firsthand sleepy smiles and fuzzy bedheads (because I love my children most when they are asleep).

Oh precious Work-from-Home Mom, how will you manage it ALL?

I chuckle, because that’s the life I’m currently living, and the irony of all of this is not lost on me. People everywhere are jealous because you have the immense privilege of being home with your kids all day long and having a job! Yes, it’s great to be able to feel like you are there during the day with your children but at the same time financially contributing! But oh good golly, there are not enough hours to actually get your work done, clean up the house to pre-devastation levels, and get supper started. Some people think that you are a stay-at-home mom and don’t understand why you don’t have endless hours to volunteer for X or be at the gym or run around to a different play date everyday. No — it’s because YOU HAVE A JOB AND WORK TO DO on top of keeping your children alive and entertained. Remember, you have all the benefits of being a working mom and a stay-at-home mom (and all the same frustrations to boot).

Remember, dear Working Mom, SAHM, or Work-from-Home Mommy, the illusion of balance and having life together is just that — an illusion. Not a single one of us is #killingit every single day. We are all wondering how that “other” mom could ever dream of complaining about her life situation. Remember, friend: life, motherhood, and working (or not) is hard. It’s just plain hard. So let’s start supporting one another more and quit wondering if the grass is actually greener on the other side of the fence.

I’m here to tell you — no, the grass is not greener. Some days it’s actually AstroTurf that’s been spray painted green because that’s the best I can manage.

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Kara originally hails from northwest Iowa where she met her husband, Lance, through a 4-H fashion show. After a decade of living in central Iowa, Kara is still figuring out which way is north. Wearing the hat of “wife, mommy, employee, chef, ribbon tie-er and family calendar organizer,” Kara knows a bit about juggling life and work. Kara became a boy-mom in June of 2011 to Lucan and a girl-mom to Gracelyn in December of 2014. Most days you can find her mixing up metaphors and oversharing life’s moments via social media. Kara enjoys yoga, reading, gardening, cooking, sewing in straight lines and singing along to musicals. A spender by nature, but thrifty by necessity, Kara is always in hunt of a bargain. She’s an active member of Northpoint Church and a resident of Grimes. Her vision for life includes “doing the best we can with what God gives us.”

1 COMMENT

  1. The struggle is real being a work at home mom! But, I wouldn’t trade it for the world. It’s such a blessing to be able to be home and have the flexibility to be here for my kids and truly pursue my passion being my own boss. Thanks for this article! I’m sure many women will be able to relate.

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